Finish Strong

How long can I keep this up? That’s a thought I battle everyday.

Some days things seem so clear. The stars align and the effort feels “effortless”.

Other days are not so clear. The stars hide behind a cloudy sky and the effort does not feel "effortless".

So which days are better? Neither I think. It’s all part of the process called life. The important thing is to keep moving forward. Just like running, you’ll get somewhere as long as you keep putting one foot in front of the other. The trick is to appreciate every moment.

The lesson in all of this is something Nick Vujcic, a remarkable human being, taught me the other day. “Along the way you might fall down… it’s not the end… it matters how you’re going to finish… finish strong.”

Here’s a video of Nick putting this lesson into action.

No Boundaries

I believe in the silence between the notes.

It’s there I find the stillness needed to see clearly. It’s there I discover truths I have always felt, but lately forgotten. Truths like we really do have the power to do anything we believe. Truths like no matter what life presents, we always have the power to choose our response. Truths like life was meant to be beautiful and it only seizes to be so when we put our dependence on external things.

How many times do we say, “I would do that but I don’t have enough money, talent, opportunity, etc…?” I say this quite often to be honest. But why?

Fear of failure I think. Fear things will not work out and the floor will fall out from under me. Fear I will let others down. Fear of what might happen if I actually succeed. Fear I don’t deserve better.

I would like to drown these fears now. They are illusions and serve to bind me to a reality I don’t think is real anymore.

Back in 2001 I wrote myself a note. In it I said, “The only boundaries you have are the ones you set for yourself. Seek to find the truth and you will discover a world in which you are free to dream. Good luck my friend and may God bless your journey.” This is tonight’s lesson. One I hope to finally internalize and manifest myself.

Here’s a great song that resonates with this lesson. Enjoy.

Running with the Dragon

“The effort is to apply no effort at all.” That’s the thought I had this evening as I allowed myself to run 6 miles. “Allowed?” you might ask. Yes, “Allowed,” and hopefully I can explain below.

The loop around my neighborhood is 1.5 miles and tonight I planned on running one quick loop. I did this and was feeling good, so I decided to run one more loop (3 miles total). The last part of the loop is downhill and I decided to have some fun by letting my body take over. It sprinted faster than I have run in a long time and the feeling was exhilarating. Then it hit me. My body likes to run. So I decided to do something I have never done before – run a third loop (4.5 miles total).

Somewhere halfway around the loop my body asked to completely take over and my mind “allowed” it. It was a strange sensation. It felt like I was along for a ride in someone else’s body. At the end of the loop my body once again sprinted down the hill. This time I gazed up at the star filled sky and felt a sense of freedom I haven’t known in a while.

I finished the 3rd loop and was feeling alright so I decided to allow my body to run one more loop (6 miles total). It did it and here we are. Contrary to my past self defeating thinking, I did not pass out.

As I was running tonight I had a flashback to the 80’s and something Leroy Greene taught me as a kid. It’s also tonight’s lesson. To find your true power you only need to look inside where you have never looked before. When you find it, you’ll be amazed that something so intense could have gone unnoticed.

Here’s the final scene from The Last Dragon that puts this lesson into action.

The Child Within

Do you remember back to your childhood when you would run with reckless abandon across any level surface? I do. I especially remember running outside in the grass. Back then I would run for no apparent reason – simply to feel the joy of my body in motion. It was exhilarating and I would laugh with joy as the wind whispered in my ears. I loved that feeling.

This morning I was reminded of that childhood passion. My wife, sister, and good friends joined me for a morning run alongside a lake by my parent’s house. Running with loved ones was fun, but it was my friend’s 1-year-old son that really made my morning. The reason? That little guy ran through the woods with such a look of happiness on his face, I could see the presence of God in him. He ran with “reckless abandon” as though nothing else in the world mattered at that moment. He laughed out loud to celebrate his freedom and his laughter filled my spirit with freedom as well.

So tonight’s lesson is something my young friend taught and reminded me of today. Remember the child within – he is free and he can free you too. Yes, you’re probably an adult now but that doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy life the way a child does - with reckless abandon.

Thoughts on Suffering

I cannot understand the pain of living at times. To contemplate on it would be too much. So why does it end up like this? Why must there be suffering?

Sometimes it’s best not to ask because the answer may not be what you want to hear. Suffering has a way of purging things out of us that hold us back from living an extraordinary life. Suffering is a tool, no more no less, to bring us to greatness. And even when we reach that greatness there is always room for improvement so more suffering shows up.

So that suffering may complete its perfect work, you have to surrender to it. This is not easy... I know. The mind and its reasoning nature cannot make sense of it. Suffering is a process that has a beginning, middle, and end. Similar to running, you will feel a strong burn and the desire to quit before you reach the finish line. It is this burn that strengthens and prepares you to take on greater challenges. It is this burn you must embrace and make your friend.

An extraordinary life has its price. That price is courage to persevere. There is one more thing to know. Extraordinary living is not on the outside – it’s within you. As long as you look for the extraodinary in worldy things you will always come up short.

Running is helping me internalize this lesson. When I run it is not for any specific reason or external goal. Yes, I'm training to run 10 miles in October but even then its about the experience not the destination. When I run I come in contact with something inside of me that inspires me to believe life really is wonderful. I'm reminded that inside each one of us is an endless supply of power waiting to be tapped into and unleashed. But you first need to believe and seek it. This is all a little metaphysical, I know, but it's the only way I can explain my journey right now.

The lesson? “Adventure is not outside man; it is within.” ~ David Grayson

Here's a video that illustrates what a human being can do when they tap into the power within. I think it's called the "impossible".

Living Life

If you knew your life was going to end tomorrow could you say you lived life to the fullest today? My answer would probably be no. But why is that?

It seems illogical to not live each day fully because there is never a guarantee of tomorrow. What is it that holds us back from really living each day as though it were our last? I think its comfort, busyness, and fear. One, it’s easy to become comfortable with how things are and assume they will always be that way. Two, it’s easy to hide behind busyness and push important things like relationships into the background until we think we have more time to invest in them. Three, and I really believe this is the main reason, we are afraid to live life to the fullest for fear of losing it.

So how do you break free from this? “Live like we’re dying” because we really are. This is a concrete truth.

Tonight’s lesson is to take a moment, sit down, and answer this question for yourself. “Am I really living my life to the fullest? If not, what's holding me back? What can I do to change this?” Now go do it.

Here’s a music video that highlights this lesson.

Transformations

“Transform the pain into energy. This is how you do the impossible.” That’s the thought I had this past weekend as I pushed myself to run longer and harder than ever before.

Makes sense, so how do you do it?

I’m not sure but I'm figuring it out by running until I feel like throwing up and then running some more. Oddly enough I love it and I feel compelled to keep doing this.

Just a few weeks ago I believed I would pass out if I ran for too long. In reality I have not passed out yet and don't really think I ever will. What I am discovering is when I run beyond my mental threshold my vision clears up, my mind becomes still, and I feel “free”. It’s addictive, but in a good way.

Having never pushed myself physically in the past, this is all new to me. It’s also exciting because now I’m thinking about what else I can do if I continue to believe in this process.

The lesson here is that perseverance really does pay off. You just have to hang in there, “transform the pain into energy”, and keep pressing forward. Without knowing it you might accomplish something you thought was impossible.

Here's a video clip that resonates with this lesson.

Birthday Wish

“Hi Daddy!” she says,
Her beautiful eyes radiate her soul.
My angel I think to myself,
God’s gift to me.
Amazing you are,
Everything you do is such a joy.
Your laughter, your smile, your kisses,
My heart overflows with love.
Your presence is so brilliant,
I lose myself in your sight.
It’s God I know,
He shines through you so clearly.
Your daddy I am,
And it’s an honor to be.
I will love you without measure,
I will pour my soul into yours.
You are a blessing from God,
One I could never have dreamed of.
You remind me that life is precious,
And I never want to miss a moment.
Amanda, your name means lovable.
And for eternity I will love you.
Happy 2nd birthday babe,
From your papi who adores you.

The lesson? When your heart sings, let it out.

Talking with Cows

Will I ever get up at 6:00 a.m. and run? I’ve been trying to do this for the past 2 months and keep coming up short. Why? Maybe the fire in me is not hot enough yet. So how do I go about changing this?

My sister tells me it’s all in my head and I agree. But how do I get it out of my head and change it. I’ve blogged a ton about changing your thinking and still don’t have it quite figured out yet myself. That’s ok though. Everything is a process. Knowledge does not automatically translate into wisdom.

My heart says to push on and keep trying, so why do I continue to fail. I don’t know. Sometimes things seem so clear and sometimes they don’t. I guess this is all just part of the journey.

I’m still running and biking and it’s becoming less painful day by day. Yesterday, while on a bike ride I crossed paths with a cow and had a unique experience. The cow came up to me much the same way a dog does and just looked at me for a minute or two. I have never stopped to share a glance with a cow and that odd moment left me thinking about how much intelligence cows actually have. As a rode off the cow ran after me. Very odd experience.

So of course I have to wonder what the encounter with the cow meant. Maybe I need to stop eating beef (I have noticed that eating beef makes me lethargic but those Chipotle burritos are just so delicious). Maybe I need to slow down and look at the cows. Maybe I need to stop and pay attention to my life in order to get back into the moment. That’s probably it. Question is when did I stop paying attention?

The lesson? Stop and pay attention to your life on occasion. It may have something important to share with you.

Here are some words to encourage the journey.

A Moving 3.2 Miles

This past Saturday was beautiful. I awoke at 6 a.m. and headed to Baltimore with my wife, oldest son, and running partner and sister. By 9:01 a.m. I had completed my first ever 5K (3.2 mile) race. The accomplishment was nice but running for a worthwhile cause, in this case the Cool Kids Campaign, is what made the experience truly memorable. Also, sharing this experience with my family and loved ones added to the magic of the day.  Thank you guys! 

It’s funny though. I trained for 2 months to run this 5K. On Saturday morning my wife decides to run the 5K with no prior preparation and goes on to do so.  My sister reminds me that what you think you can or can’t do is all in your head. I think she’s right. That’s also tonight’s lesson.

Here is a video by Cancer Fears Me which reminds me that through caring comes the courage.

Second Chances

These tracks to nowhere,
In front of me lie.
The journey until now,
Something I’d rather leave behind.
Paradise on demand,
Or so the label claims.
Sugar cane dreams,
Dance across my mind.
Speed it up, speed it up,
Take a little more.
Slow it down, slow it down,
The ride will be bomb.
Nowhere now, the tracks have disappeared,
Only vast emptiness at every turn.
Tonight it all ends,
Finally it’s time to leave.
Lay down, say a prayer,
Because there is no tomorrow.
Senses are gone,
Thoughts and feelings a memory.
There is no coming back,
And nothing left to even care.
So this is how it ends?
Just me and my pillow.
Goodbye cruel world,
I’m too gone to miss you.
No more anything,
It doesn’t exist.
What’s this? Is it me?
Awake! But how could that be.
Never Father, never again,
You saved me this time.
I will never forget,
I was gone and now I’m here.
Help me to understand,
Why you gave me a second chance.

The lesson? When the time comes... get up. Let the fire within ignite. Be what you were created to be. It's time.

Nowhere - Now Here

Nothing… No thoughts, words, or pictures. Empty.
Now that I’m here what will I do?
Sounds. I can still hear them. What are they saying?
“What are they saying,” they say. Not very helpful.
“Enjoy yourself… you’re here.” Ok.
The vastness of this place is amazing. Light and dark at the same time.
Where’s the floor? The ceiling? The walls?
Nope, nothing here. Only space. Only way I can describe it.
I see with no eyes. How is this possible?
It’s cool though. Very refreshing. I like it.
You’re here with me but how can that be.
I’m nowhere and now you are here.
You look different. Not like your usual self.
What did you used to look like?
Can’t remember in this place. Did you even exist?
Doesn’t matter anyway, let’s move on.
I should come here more often. It’s nice.
Not too much to see, do, think, or worry about.
Wish it was like this all the time.
The light there, what’s that.
Blink, blink. Snap back.
Where am I? Nowhere again.
Maybe now here. Oh well.

The lesson? Take time to let yourself fall into the moment. It will refresh your spirit and perspective.

Going, Going, Gone

Boom, boom, boom!

“Open the door!”

“No! I won’t. I’m scarred.”

“But I won’t hurt you!”

“Yes you will. Yes you will.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Sorry for what?”

“Sorry for scaring you.”

“It’s not you that scares me.”

“Then what is it?”

“It’s what I might do to you that scares me.”

“What you might do to me? Will it hurt?”
“Maybe. I’m not sure. But it scares me.”
“So what will you do to me then? Is it that bad?”
“I don’t know. But I’m afraid to do it.”
“Ok, if it’s not that bad then do it.”
“No. I can’t. I’m afraid.”
“It’s ok to be afraid. Do it anyway.”
“Ok. I’m sorry. I will miss you.”
“Sorry for what? It's time I go away anyway.”
“Who will I be without you?”
“Doesn’t matter. Do it now before you lose courage.”

“Goodbye forever. I will miss you.”

"I will forget you now and open the door."
No one there.
Must have been the wind.

The lesson? Never fear opening the door to a new perspective.

Going Home

Who am I?

Blink, everything changes. Blink, blink, where am I now? There’s a thought. Now it’s gone. Where am I then? Lost? No, I feel here but here just left. Where does that leave me?

In these words I am. Contrasting black letters against a white backdrop. Is it the light at the end of the tunnel? How did I get here? Oops, it just moved past me. Behind me now. That’s ok.

Blank… blank… blank… no thoughts right now. There it goes again. Another thought. Just zoomed by. Missed it. Must not be important. Let’s move on.

Looking over the edge now. Looks like a long way down. Will I jump? No. But why not? Ok, let’s jump.

Emptiness - it does exist. Nice place. Nothing to see or do. Feels like home. Maybe I will stay a while. No more words, only something I can’t express. Why is there a train here? Where is it going. Get on board. Ok.

Clack, clack, clack. Clack, clack, clack. Stop. Get off. Now I’m gone. Where am I? Doesn’t matter. Feels like home. I like being lost. It’s liberating. Nowhere to be, nothing to do, no expectations. I like it here. Maybe I will stay a while. Maybe I will never return. Maybe it’s home – at last.

The lesson? There is nothing wrong with losing yourself. What if it brings you home?

Let Morpheus show you the way.

Mind Trip

The world is a projection of your thoughts. If your thinking is positive the world looks positive. If your thinking is negative the world looks negative. But what if positive and negative are just relative? What if your thinking is just what it needs to be to teach you what you need to learn at that moment? What if there are no thoughts – only notions of what’s going on? What if it’s all a dream? If so, why suffer?

Life is a dream. The mind is an illusion created to make sense of it all. There is no sense because there is no mind. There is no you. No words. No thoughts. No feelings. Nothing. Not anything to be grammatically correct. Another illusion.

What happens when the illusions fall? When the curtain that was never there to begin with pulls back. What is revealed? A place without words. Not a place at all because it would be another illusion. Is it you? Is it me? No. It’s too much to be either or. Maybe it's Rusty.

Deep huh? This is reality. Just too much to make sense of. Maybe it’s best not to even try.

The lesson? None. There are no lessons. Only reflections. Look into the mirror of your life and let it show you the truth. Truth is not relative. It is reality. But the truth is unique for each of us. Don’t project your truth on others. It’s not theirs. Love them and yourself without condition. This is the only thing that makes sense. Come back now. The trip has ended. Go in peace.

“See the mirror in your eyes… See the truth behind the lies…"



"I keep keep running, I keep keep falling... let it fade away...”

Waking Up

The great thing about accepting reality is that once you do you always have the power to change it. Think the world sucks? Ok, so it sucks. Now do something about it. Think the world owes you something. Ok, it doesn’t. Now go and work for what you think you’re owed. Think you have the market cornered on suffering? Ok, you don’t. Now go do something about the suffering of others.

Is getting real with yourself that simple? Yes. The only thing clouding your thinking, feelings, and behaviors is your attempt at dodging reality.

“But I’m really feeling bad, you don’t know what I have been through, you don’t know what I’m growing through, this is all so insensitive, what about my feelings, don’t they matter?”

I’ve said the same things to myself time and time again and you know what? These thoughts have never made me feel better. They have never inspired me to positive action. They have never changed my life for the better. Instead they have kept my trapped. Trapped in the prison of my mind. It’s time to free Mandela don’t you agree?

Don’t abuse yourself though. The hurt you hide inside requires compassion in addition to questioning. Be gentle with yourself. End the war by not fighting anymore. See your thoughts for what they are – thoughts. Don’t let them drive your emotions anymore. Instead let you emotions enlighten your thinking.

The lesson in this is to be free and live the life God intends for you must be real with yourself. In doing so you will return to reality and reality is the only place you can do anything about your life or the life of others. When you wake up to this you’ll realize how much power you actually have to change reality.

Here’s a music video to help you on the journey.

Breaking Free

I have to confess. I have an addiction to Mountain Dew and this week I have given in twice so far (after almost 5 months of being clean). Why does this scenario keep replaying in my life? Will it ever stop? I don’t know so I wrote a silly poem about it a while back.

A joy I once knew,
Has left my life.
Its uplifting effects,
Never to be known again.
Creativity and passion unleashed with each sip,
A lifetime of imagination in a bottle.
Oh Mountain Dew how I miss you so,
Refreshing and inspiring you were to me.
Now I must drink from a different source,
A creative power that flows deep within.
Mountain Dew you are like a bittersweet friend,
Fun for a moment but disastrous in the end.

In reality I think my addiction is not an addiction at all. I have just conditioned my mind to think Mountain Dew (caffeine and sugar) have the power to charge my mojo (life force). Over the years I have reinforced this thought over and over again and my physical being now believes it. The problem with this is that prolonged consumption of Mountain Dew tends to raise my anxiety levels – or does it? Maybe all this messy thinking is just in my head. Could it be that I am not seeking the rush of caffeine and sugar as much as I am seeking to feel the power of my life force in action?

So tonight’s lesson once again revolves around examining your thinking. To get back to reality you need to examine and question your thoughts. Do they make sense? Are they really true? Only you know. When your thinking clears up you might come to the realization the only thing you need in life you already have -your life force. It’s always been there waiting for you to realize it - ready to supercharge you on demand. Then you won’t need anything like a Mountain Dew, coffee, add your own vices here. Then the addictions and damaging behaviors will fade away.

If you think this is impossible let the wisdom of Yoda speak to your heart. Feel the force. Let it inspire you to do things you only dreamed of.



If you're wondering, yes I am still running. Up to 2 miles or so outside on pavement. My knees are holding up and my quads are fried for the moment (did some weight resisted squats for the first time ever two nights ago).

Seeing Again

I fight and I fight,
When what I seek requires no battle.
It was here all along,
It has always been here,
Just waiting to be discovered again.
Why do I do this I ask myself?
Why am I so blind?
How can I not see what is in front of me?
How can I miss reality?
The veil serves a purpose I realize,
Sometimes to see you must first be blind.
Like a baby entering the world for the first time,
To see you must be looking in the first place.
This I have come to understand,
So now I look and wonder.
Now I see what I could not see before.
It will change I know,
This thing I have come to see.
And then I will set out once again,
To discover that which I can no longer see.
Only to realize it was there all along.
Again...

Tonight's lesson? To see reality as it is you must first question your thinking as it is.  When you question your thoughts they let go of you and reality becomes your new vision.

Here is another clip from Peaceful Warrior that resonates with this lesson.