Keeping it Real

Is it ok to allow people to see the “real you”. Who or what exactly is the “real you”? Isn’t the person you look at in the mirror every morning the “real you”. If it is why do I feel like the “real me” is missing?

These words may, or may, not make sense but that’s me. I have always had a flare for looking at the deeper side of things. The “real me” is someone I have been searching for all my life and through this journey I hope to get closer to finding him – if that’s even possible.

The journey I'm on revolves around getting ready to run the Army 10-Miler in October with my sister. A couple of weeks ago she asked if I was interested, and though secretly I was more afraid than I let on, something inside of me said yes. It took a few days before the yes made it to my lips and soon thereafter my stomach expressed its disagreement.

You see I have never exercised seriously in all my life and I don’t know the first thing about running. Also, I have been overcome with a terrible sense of lethargy for sometime now. When my sister told my mom about my decision the look on her face was one of disbelief and amusement. This from the woman who has always told me I can do anything.

So I am running to my life instead of for or from it. I am running to discover who this “real me” is. I am running because I love my sister and have been inspired by her own journey. She had a stroke you know – last year at the age of 29. Prior to that she ran the NY marathon and this 10-Miler is her comeback. Most importantly I am running for my 3 kids. They need a dad who will be there to laugh and hug them instead of saying he needs a minute to himself because he is overwhelmed with life and out of shape. They need a dad who loves life the way he did when he was a child himself. They need a dad who knows who the “real him” is. I am also running for my wife who I promised a “buff and fit” body to back in 1993. She may get the "fit" but I am not sure about the "buff".

To remember this time in my life I am keeping this journal. It is extremely difficult for me because you are now peering into my thoughts and life. Something I have kept guarded for so long. My sister say's this transparency thing makes me more real. I'm not sure I agree but am open to finding out. Anyway I'm always advocating transparency and vulnerability so let's do instead of think (did you read yesterday’s entry?).

Typically I will not be as melodramatic as above but I figured if this journey is going to be of value to anyone other than me, I better keep it real. Maybe I just took one step closer to the real me. Sweet.

Ok. Now that we have caught some feelings what’s the lesson of the day?

The “real you” is not a reflection seen by human eyes. Instead it is the reflection seen by the hearts of those you allow inside.

Oh, if you’re wondering I did get up this morning after 11 snoozes and completed 10 minutes of “running” to a song I can’t remember. My mind was elsewhere. Maybe it was here.