So life just kicked me in the teeth and hugged me at the same time. Has that ever happened to you? I messed up my knee running the other day and have had to take a break. I think the lack of endorphins in my system allowed some old gremlins to sneak back in and my mental, spiritual, and emotional states have been a bit off. That and I'm trying to kick a caffeine and sugar habit for the millionth time (caramel lattes and Orange Fanta to be exact). So tonight I write this blog not knowing when I can run again. Advice on the web says to condition my knee on a stationary exercise bike but my wife disagrees. She wonders when in the world I will ever use an exercise bike again and she’s probably right. Oh well, that’s what credit cards are for.
So back to the life hugging me thing. I really was about to quit on this whole running and blogging effort, considering I can’t get folks to follow my blog, but something inside of me said, “hold on.” Hold on for what I wondered. And then it happened. A breakthrough. A call from destiny. Dramatic I know, but that’s how I’m feeling right now.
And what did destiny say? To believe in the power of dreams and hold on. It also told me to recall the lessons one of my childhood heroes, Cru Jones, taught me.
Cru Jones was just an ordinary guy with uncanny abilities. He could do a back flip on a bicycle. He could also bicycle boogie (dance and do tricks with a bicycle). Cru taught me that there’s “thunder in your heart” and “every move is like lighting.” Most importantly he taught me that dreams do come true – but at a price. That price is your teeth on occasion when life decides to kick them in. “Don’t cry”, Cru would probably say. “Next time remember to wear a mouthpiece.” Under Armour has some cool ones I hear.
Tonight, right when I feel like quitting I’m going to rethink things as a tribute to Cru Jones. Hopefully my knee situation will resolve itself and the journey will continue. If not I can always do like Cru and ride a bicycle.
If this blog makes no sense to you, you need to watch “Rad”. It’s one of the finest movies produced in the ‘80s (there I go with that ‘80s thing again – bear with me I think my blog is taking on a pattern).
Tonight’s lesson? The trick to moving forward is to keep moving forward. Run, ride a bicycle, do whatever you need to do, but just keep moving forward. Destiny is waiting.
If you’re curious, here’s a video summary of Rad. I love this movie!
Friday, April 30, 2010
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Mud on the Mind
I must be in a daze because I can’t remember a thing about today. I do remember running in the rain yesterday which was a good thing. My brand new running shoes had me looking like a poseur and now they have some character. Funny how a little mud will do that.
Do you think this applies to life? Does trying to keep and maintain a pristine life make you look like a poseur (someone who is pretending to be something they are not)? Would a little mud in your life add character? I think so.
Kid’s love mud and sometimes mistake poo-poo for it. Tonight bedtime was a circus and I was clown. My daughter poo-pooed her diaper and thought it would be great fun to get it on her hands and paint the wall. Disgusting, I know, but this is parenthood. It’s also a little mud in my life. I could have let it rattle me or I could have let my wife handle it. I choose the latter (but I helped too).
So after I put my daughter’s clothes in the washer and finish touching-up the wall, I’m going to run with mud on my mind. What’s the logic in all of this? Let me connect the dots.
To truly enjoy life you have to allow a little mud in at times. Control is an illusion. Long days, dirty shoes, and poo-poo on the wall are all part of the package called life. They add character to your existence. Next time life slings some mud at you, just roll with it. Not the poo-poo stuff though, this stinks anyway you slice it – pun intended.
Look at how much fun these folks are having with mud. Doesn't it make you want to go outside and jump in a muddy puddle like you did when you were a kid? Try it. Your neighbors will love you for it.
Do you think this applies to life? Does trying to keep and maintain a pristine life make you look like a poseur (someone who is pretending to be something they are not)? Would a little mud in your life add character? I think so.
Kid’s love mud and sometimes mistake poo-poo for it. Tonight bedtime was a circus and I was clown. My daughter poo-pooed her diaper and thought it would be great fun to get it on her hands and paint the wall. Disgusting, I know, but this is parenthood. It’s also a little mud in my life. I could have let it rattle me or I could have let my wife handle it. I choose the latter (but I helped too).
So after I put my daughter’s clothes in the washer and finish touching-up the wall, I’m going to run with mud on my mind. What’s the logic in all of this? Let me connect the dots.
To truly enjoy life you have to allow a little mud in at times. Control is an illusion. Long days, dirty shoes, and poo-poo on the wall are all part of the package called life. They add character to your existence. Next time life slings some mud at you, just roll with it. Not the poo-poo stuff though, this stinks anyway you slice it – pun intended.
Look at how much fun these folks are having with mud. Doesn't it make you want to go outside and jump in a muddy puddle like you did when you were a kid? Try it. Your neighbors will love you for it.
Monday, April 26, 2010
Get Up!
This past weekend I had a small breakthrough followed by a slight backslide (no I was not break dancing - ok, I did dance a little). The breakthrough was running 1.5 miles outside in the rain on Saturday. The backslide was not writing a blog entry on Saturday, skipping running training on Sunday, and drinking a few Mojitos to celebrate on both days. I guess I was inspired by my “accomplishment” and the celebration went on longer than it probably should have.
This is what happens when your rational self retaliates for being yelled at. If it can’t discourage you from doing something it will distract you with temptation aimed at derailing your efforts. You see this past Saturday my rational self and I got into an argument while I was running and it went something like this.
Rational Self: “Why are you doing this?”
Me: “Because I want to.”
Rational Self: “What are you trying to prove?”
Me: “Nothing.”
Rational Self: “Do you think this can really change your life?”
Me: “I hope so.”
Rational Self: “I think this is a waste of time.”
Me: “You think too much. Why don’t you just shut up!”
I probably used stronger words in that last line but my mom is reading this blog now so I have to take it easy. This argument seems to happen every time I run and always at the halfway point. Right when I am most tempted to quit.
So why does this happen? Is it because my rational self is lazy and risk adverse? Is it because it doesn’t want me to excel in life? The simple answer is no. Oddly enough, my rational self wants to protect me from suffering because it loves me. It sees me running around like a madman, feels the anguish in my body, and decides it needs to put an end to this self torture. This is a survival instinct – avoid that which brings you pain. The rational self is only doing it’s best to bring me happiness, even if it is self defeating.
Unfortunately, the rational self lacks the intensity and faith to see that all this running and blogging stuff will eventually pay off. This is where I allow my lower (caveman) and higher (enlightened) self to collaborate and help me out. My lower self is intense and will run through walls for me. My higher self is full of faith so it encourages me to push on. Together they convince my rational self to hang in there. This is all a little metaphysical but it helps get the job done.
Tonight’s lesson sums up the story above in a simple manner. You need to get up off your ass (and take it easy with the Mojitos) if you want to get anything worthwhile done in life. Sorry mom, but it's true.
And to drive this lesson home, here is a clip from my beloved Rocky movies.
This is what happens when your rational self retaliates for being yelled at. If it can’t discourage you from doing something it will distract you with temptation aimed at derailing your efforts. You see this past Saturday my rational self and I got into an argument while I was running and it went something like this.
Rational Self: “Why are you doing this?”
Me: “Because I want to.”
Rational Self: “What are you trying to prove?”
Me: “Nothing.”
Rational Self: “Do you think this can really change your life?”
Me: “I hope so.”
Rational Self: “I think this is a waste of time.”
Me: “You think too much. Why don’t you just shut up!”
I probably used stronger words in that last line but my mom is reading this blog now so I have to take it easy. This argument seems to happen every time I run and always at the halfway point. Right when I am most tempted to quit.
So why does this happen? Is it because my rational self is lazy and risk adverse? Is it because it doesn’t want me to excel in life? The simple answer is no. Oddly enough, my rational self wants to protect me from suffering because it loves me. It sees me running around like a madman, feels the anguish in my body, and decides it needs to put an end to this self torture. This is a survival instinct – avoid that which brings you pain. The rational self is only doing it’s best to bring me happiness, even if it is self defeating.
Unfortunately, the rational self lacks the intensity and faith to see that all this running and blogging stuff will eventually pay off. This is where I allow my lower (caveman) and higher (enlightened) self to collaborate and help me out. My lower self is intense and will run through walls for me. My higher self is full of faith so it encourages me to push on. Together they convince my rational self to hang in there. This is all a little metaphysical but it helps get the job done.
Tonight’s lesson sums up the story above in a simple manner. You need to get up off your ass (and take it easy with the Mojitos) if you want to get anything worthwhile done in life. Sorry mom, but it's true.
And to drive this lesson home, here is a clip from my beloved Rocky movies.
Friday, April 23, 2010
Finding Equilibrium
This evening I was blessed to share a meal with two beautiful women, my wife and my daughter. At dinner I saw my daughter giving butterfly kisses for the first time (she really is adorable) and I got to thinking. I’m I really the father of a woman in the making? Do I understand enough about emotions to do this properly?
Day after day I see my daughter growing and doing wonderful things. I must confess she brings the best out in me. I can be totally stressed but when she grabs my hand and says, “Com’n Daddy”, my world is hers.
So tonight I’m going to discuss something I don’t think I have figured out just yet – emotions. Listen up folks because you might learn something.
Ok, I’m done. Did you get that? I’m joking here. I have actually spent a lot of time studying how to effectively use and work with your emotions to enhance your life. The difficult thing has been applying that knowledge to my own life.
I have read that women are much more emotionally intelligent than men and I have some evidence that may support this. Take my daughter for example. She intuitively seems to sense how I’m feeling and responds in a way that lifts my spirit (also known as empathy). She knows just when to hold my hand, give me a hug, give me Eskimo kisses, and now butterfly kisses. It is amazing how well she can read my emotional state and she is only 1.5 years old! My sons also inspire me to a higher state of being but in slightly different ways. They are more activity driven and by this I mean they will ask me to play games, build stuff, chase them around, etc… when they sense my emotions are out of balance. I think men and women are equally skilled at dealing with emotions, but in different ways. For me running has been a great way of diffusing and/or accentuating emotions, so my conclusion is that men are more naturally attuned to deal with emotions through action.
So why all this talk about emotions?
Because I believe to achieve equilibrium in life (or a deep state of peace) you need to address and develop the mind, body, spirit, and emotions. Emotions are usually left out of this equation but they have the power to wreck havoc on the other variables. If you look back on your life you might notice that it is easy to focus on one area at the expense of the others. However, think back to great times in your life. Were all four areas being nurtured simultaneously?
Tonight’s lesson is straightforward. Do things that nurture all aspects of your being – mind, body, spirit, and emotions. They work together as a system and if one is slacking the others will suffer. By the way, exercise is the low hanging fruit. You can start by taking a brisk walk outside (and then blog about the whole thing and make your friends and family laugh).
Day after day I see my daughter growing and doing wonderful things. I must confess she brings the best out in me. I can be totally stressed but when she grabs my hand and says, “Com’n Daddy”, my world is hers.
So tonight I’m going to discuss something I don’t think I have figured out just yet – emotions. Listen up folks because you might learn something.
Ok, I’m done. Did you get that? I’m joking here. I have actually spent a lot of time studying how to effectively use and work with your emotions to enhance your life. The difficult thing has been applying that knowledge to my own life.
I have read that women are much more emotionally intelligent than men and I have some evidence that may support this. Take my daughter for example. She intuitively seems to sense how I’m feeling and responds in a way that lifts my spirit (also known as empathy). She knows just when to hold my hand, give me a hug, give me Eskimo kisses, and now butterfly kisses. It is amazing how well she can read my emotional state and she is only 1.5 years old! My sons also inspire me to a higher state of being but in slightly different ways. They are more activity driven and by this I mean they will ask me to play games, build stuff, chase them around, etc… when they sense my emotions are out of balance. I think men and women are equally skilled at dealing with emotions, but in different ways. For me running has been a great way of diffusing and/or accentuating emotions, so my conclusion is that men are more naturally attuned to deal with emotions through action.
So why all this talk about emotions?
Because I believe to achieve equilibrium in life (or a deep state of peace) you need to address and develop the mind, body, spirit, and emotions. Emotions are usually left out of this equation but they have the power to wreck havoc on the other variables. If you look back on your life you might notice that it is easy to focus on one area at the expense of the others. However, think back to great times in your life. Were all four areas being nurtured simultaneously?
Tonight’s lesson is straightforward. Do things that nurture all aspects of your being – mind, body, spirit, and emotions. They work together as a system and if one is slacking the others will suffer. By the way, exercise is the low hanging fruit. You can start by taking a brisk walk outside (and then blog about the whole thing and make your friends and family laugh).
Leap of Faith
Today my mom told me she enjoys reading my blog so now I feel compelled to deliver something special. Let’s see if the creative muse will help me out.
A few blogs back I mentioned something about skydiving. Specifically, I have the desire to jump out of a plane with some big dude strapped to my back and pray my life does not come to an end. I’ve never been skydiving before so I have to go tandem – that explains the big dude. My sister and co-conspirator agrees it would be a great thing to do as a team. My wife totally disagrees but my life insurance policy has her reconsidering. The economy is rough you know.
This past Saturday I was hanging out with some friends and I mentioned our plan to them. To ease my wife’s worries my friend told us about a guy he knows who jumped out of a plane, plummeted to the ground with his parachutes opened but tangled, hit the ground, bounced up, and ultimately yelled, “You can’t kill me!” I love the story and it’s true (the incident happened in Ocean City, MD and made the reality show circuit – Google it) but my wife was not so thrilled.
As the night proceeded I was sipping the Goose and my tongue loosened up so I shared a funny story. A few years back I was on a ride in Kings Dominion which lifted you into the air in a seated position and then let you free fall back to earth stopping abruptly short of the ground. As we reached the top of the ride I put my arms up and started yelling in preparation for the fall. Next thing I know the world went dark. I had blacked out on the ride and my wife witnessed the whole thing. It was actually quite exhilarating and I felt great when I finally came to.
My friends heard this and broke out in laughter as they physically demonstrated how I would look falling through the air passed out with some big dude strapped to my back.
I demonstrated how I would take a deep breath (to avoid passing out) as I jumped from the plane and this only made them laugh harder. Yes, everybody enjoyed a rib busting laugh at my expense, but that’s cool. I’m still going skydiving and when I figure out why I will blog about it.
Until then enjoy the lesson of the night. Great leaps of faith don’t require extraordinary effort. They simply require you to say, “I will,” and the jump for your life!
I think Under Armour has built a great brand campaign around this concept. Check it out.
A few blogs back I mentioned something about skydiving. Specifically, I have the desire to jump out of a plane with some big dude strapped to my back and pray my life does not come to an end. I’ve never been skydiving before so I have to go tandem – that explains the big dude. My sister and co-conspirator agrees it would be a great thing to do as a team. My wife totally disagrees but my life insurance policy has her reconsidering. The economy is rough you know.
This past Saturday I was hanging out with some friends and I mentioned our plan to them. To ease my wife’s worries my friend told us about a guy he knows who jumped out of a plane, plummeted to the ground with his parachutes opened but tangled, hit the ground, bounced up, and ultimately yelled, “You can’t kill me!” I love the story and it’s true (the incident happened in Ocean City, MD and made the reality show circuit – Google it) but my wife was not so thrilled.
As the night proceeded I was sipping the Goose and my tongue loosened up so I shared a funny story. A few years back I was on a ride in Kings Dominion which lifted you into the air in a seated position and then let you free fall back to earth stopping abruptly short of the ground. As we reached the top of the ride I put my arms up and started yelling in preparation for the fall. Next thing I know the world went dark. I had blacked out on the ride and my wife witnessed the whole thing. It was actually quite exhilarating and I felt great when I finally came to.
My friends heard this and broke out in laughter as they physically demonstrated how I would look falling through the air passed out with some big dude strapped to my back.
I demonstrated how I would take a deep breath (to avoid passing out) as I jumped from the plane and this only made them laugh harder. Yes, everybody enjoyed a rib busting laugh at my expense, but that’s cool. I’m still going skydiving and when I figure out why I will blog about it.
Until then enjoy the lesson of the night. Great leaps of faith don’t require extraordinary effort. They simply require you to say, “I will,” and the jump for your life!
I think Under Armour has built a great brand campaign around this concept. Check it out.
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Color Outside the Lines
I’m not sleeping much lately. Feels like my creative juices are flooding my brain. Is this due to running? Is it because I’ve opened myself up to whatever life may present? I’m not sure but I wasn’t feeling like this a few weeks ago.
Whatever the reason I don’t want it to stop. You see one of my favorite things in life is being imaginative and creative. I believe it’s a gift God gives all of us and over time life tries to steal it away. The thief first shows up in first grade when you’re told you must color inside the lines. Why? What if you want to color outside the lines or God forbid on them? Most likely you would have been told this was unacceptable. Being a child you probably accepted a social norm that is not normal at all. Think of some of the great minds that decided to color outside the lines - Leonardo de Vinci, Albert Einstein, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., Mother Teresa, Nelson Mandela, Robert Bies (my favorite teacher), etc… Maybe you can be one of them.
This whole running and blogging thing has been like coloring outside the lines for me. One day I’m living a comfortable life within the lines and the next thing I know I’m running at midnight in my pajamas and sharing my life online. Life can be crazy like that and it’s best to just go with it and see where the current takes you. What fun is there in being comfortable all the time? Think back to a great moment in your life. What was going? Where you coloring outside the lines?
My kids have taught me a lot about coloring outside the lines (and on the walls, carpet, my face while I’m sleeping, etc…). To them the world is one big coloring book and their life one giant crayon. They laugh, dance, cry, hug, and enjoy themselves with such an intensity I feel I am in the company of angels when we're together. To prove my point check out the video below.
Tonight’s lesson is more of a request. Tomorrow, color outside the lines at least once (do something out of the norm that fills you with joy). Then write about it and email it yourself (add a subject line that will jog your memory in the future). Next time life tries to force you to color inside the lines pull up the email and catch the thief.
If your wondering the song in the video is "Dreams" by Gabrielle. Here's a link to the slow version of it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sNqwVDD4rlo&feature=related
Whatever the reason I don’t want it to stop. You see one of my favorite things in life is being imaginative and creative. I believe it’s a gift God gives all of us and over time life tries to steal it away. The thief first shows up in first grade when you’re told you must color inside the lines. Why? What if you want to color outside the lines or God forbid on them? Most likely you would have been told this was unacceptable. Being a child you probably accepted a social norm that is not normal at all. Think of some of the great minds that decided to color outside the lines - Leonardo de Vinci, Albert Einstein, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., Mother Teresa, Nelson Mandela, Robert Bies (my favorite teacher), etc… Maybe you can be one of them.
This whole running and blogging thing has been like coloring outside the lines for me. One day I’m living a comfortable life within the lines and the next thing I know I’m running at midnight in my pajamas and sharing my life online. Life can be crazy like that and it’s best to just go with it and see where the current takes you. What fun is there in being comfortable all the time? Think back to a great moment in your life. What was going? Where you coloring outside the lines?
My kids have taught me a lot about coloring outside the lines (and on the walls, carpet, my face while I’m sleeping, etc…). To them the world is one big coloring book and their life one giant crayon. They laugh, dance, cry, hug, and enjoy themselves with such an intensity I feel I am in the company of angels when we're together. To prove my point check out the video below.
Tonight’s lesson is more of a request. Tomorrow, color outside the lines at least once (do something out of the norm that fills you with joy). Then write about it and email it yourself (add a subject line that will jog your memory in the future). Next time life tries to force you to color inside the lines pull up the email and catch the thief.
If your wondering the song in the video is "Dreams" by Gabrielle. Here's a link to the slow version of it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sNqwVDD4rlo&feature=related
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Focus Danielson!
Ok, I will level with you. I did not run yesterday and do not plan on running tonight. No excuses. I’m almost too wiped out to write this blog but something won’t allow me to let up on this commitment (and it's sure not my wife).
Last night was rough. My creative muse wanted to chat and I was having a great time listening. Sometime before the sun rose my eyes shut. Next thing I know my infamous alarm clock goes off and of course I savored snoozing a few times (not too many though).
Fast forward to tonight and the only thing I wanted to do when I returned from work was lay down and close my eyes. That fantasy is seldom realized, especially tonight. I had committed to painting the laundry room so my wife took the kids to the gym and left me alone so I could get to work. I actually don’t mind painting because the reward of seeing a freshly painted room is well worth the effort. I’m always amazed how a fresh coat of paint makes everything new again. Don’t you wish life was that easy?
Maybe it can be.
You see painting requires preparation, practice, and patience. Lot’s of patience actually. Especially when your wife shows up and says, “You missed a spot,” and then your kids rub their greasy fingers on the wall to see if the paint is dry.
Sort of sounds like running doesn’t it? So in theory painting the wall taught me as valuable a lesson tonight as running would have. Yes, I’m self rationalizing my decision to skip running but please bear with me – I’m typing with only one eye open.
Ok, let’s connect the dots to unearth tonight’s lesson. Everything in life is worth doing. If you listen life speaks to and teaches you through everyday activities like running, painting, arguing with your wife, etc… Remember “wax on wax off, paint the fence, and sand the deck”? You probably have to be a child of the ‘80s to get the last sentence. In the end everything adds up to something worthwhile – your life. So remember to prepare, practice, and have patience. Tada!
On a side note I have just decided to go downstairs and run. My conscious (and Mr. Miyagi) just got the best of me.
Last night was rough. My creative muse wanted to chat and I was having a great time listening. Sometime before the sun rose my eyes shut. Next thing I know my infamous alarm clock goes off and of course I savored snoozing a few times (not too many though).
Fast forward to tonight and the only thing I wanted to do when I returned from work was lay down and close my eyes. That fantasy is seldom realized, especially tonight. I had committed to painting the laundry room so my wife took the kids to the gym and left me alone so I could get to work. I actually don’t mind painting because the reward of seeing a freshly painted room is well worth the effort. I’m always amazed how a fresh coat of paint makes everything new again. Don’t you wish life was that easy?
Maybe it can be.
You see painting requires preparation, practice, and patience. Lot’s of patience actually. Especially when your wife shows up and says, “You missed a spot,” and then your kids rub their greasy fingers on the wall to see if the paint is dry.
Sort of sounds like running doesn’t it? So in theory painting the wall taught me as valuable a lesson tonight as running would have. Yes, I’m self rationalizing my decision to skip running but please bear with me – I’m typing with only one eye open.
Ok, let’s connect the dots to unearth tonight’s lesson. Everything in life is worth doing. If you listen life speaks to and teaches you through everyday activities like running, painting, arguing with your wife, etc… Remember “wax on wax off, paint the fence, and sand the deck”? You probably have to be a child of the ‘80s to get the last sentence. In the end everything adds up to something worthwhile – your life. So remember to prepare, practice, and have patience. Tada!
On a side note I have just decided to go downstairs and run. My conscious (and Mr. Miyagi) just got the best of me.
Swim or Sink
“Do you want to learn to swim?” asked my cousin. “Yes I do," I said.
Next thing I know my brief life of 5 years almost came to an end. You see, my cousin decided to teach me how to swim the old fashion way – by pushing me in the deep end of the pool without warning. The experience could have traumatized me but instead it instilled within my soul a valuable life lesson - you always have the choice to swim or sink (in this case drown). Obviously I decided to swim (doggy paddle to be specific) and pee-pee in the pool.
Fast forward 30 or so years to this past Saturday and that old swim or sink mentality still persists in my spirit (though not always in my actions). I have to confess, lately I’ve become a lot more cautious. Maybe it’s because I now have 3 children. Maybe it’s because at this point in my life I feel I have a lot more to lose. Whatever it is my sister says it needs to stop and I agree.
So back to this past Saturday. Inspired by my story above I awoke, carefully tied on my running shoes, worried a neighborhood kid might see my mismatching high performance apparel and laugh, double checked the battery life on my iPod, and ran down the street like a maniac. A few minutes later I was standing at the edge of a shimmering, and dangerously deep, lake by my house. I closed my eyes for a moment, felt the wind charge my Under Armour shirt (which I haven't washed yet beacuse my wife has me painting the laundry room prior to installing our new washer), and reflected on all that has happened to date since almost drowning at the age of 5. That didn’t last for long because I had a vision of Jason (yes from Halloween) sneaking up on me from the surrounding woods. In a flash I headed back for home.
Halfway home I started to feel dizzy. Then I saw one of my neighbors running my way and decided I better put on a good show. With all my might I puffed out my chest (what little there is because folks won’t subscribe and help me get a Bowflex) and gave him a stoic nod as he ran by. That bit of heroics cost me the last bit of energy I had and I barely made it home. Before going in I paused in the driveway to catch my breath and soon I was feeling good about my effort. That lasted until I walked in and told my wife where I had run to. She laughed under her breath and said, “That's it?” So much for spousal support (I still love her though).
On Sunday, my sister and only running partner (I'm too embarrased to run with anyone else yet), came out to the sticks to school me. Because I’m her older brother I had to play the part and pretend all was cool as we ran 4 minutes, walked 1 minute, ran 4 minutes, walked 1 minute, etc… This went on for 20 of the most grueling minutes I have ever had the pleasure of enduring. As she ran in front of me I begged God to keep me from falling in the gravel and ripping my knees to shreds. Every now and then she would say in a calm and nonchalant manner, "Look around at the lovely scenery." Little did she know I had lost the ability to see clearly somewhere in the middle of our run. When it was all over I was dazed and confused so when she told me to stretch I think I might have done something crazy. I wonder if people driving by thought I was a Cirque Du Soleil performer or something. That would be cool.
All in all things went well and I lived to write about it. Once my legs stop feeling like pair of Twizzlers fused to my body at the hip, I will get out and do it all over again.
So what’s the lesson of the day? You always have a choice in life. You can choose to swim or you can choose to sink, but you can’t do both. If you choose to swim the ocean is your playground. And if you feel like you have to pee-pee, that's ok too. Just make sure nobody's looking.
Check back tomorrow when I discuss my desire to skydive for the first time. I will be sure to avoid inviting my cousin on this adventure though.
Next thing I know my brief life of 5 years almost came to an end. You see, my cousin decided to teach me how to swim the old fashion way – by pushing me in the deep end of the pool without warning. The experience could have traumatized me but instead it instilled within my soul a valuable life lesson - you always have the choice to swim or sink (in this case drown). Obviously I decided to swim (doggy paddle to be specific) and pee-pee in the pool.
Fast forward 30 or so years to this past Saturday and that old swim or sink mentality still persists in my spirit (though not always in my actions). I have to confess, lately I’ve become a lot more cautious. Maybe it’s because I now have 3 children. Maybe it’s because at this point in my life I feel I have a lot more to lose. Whatever it is my sister says it needs to stop and I agree.
So back to this past Saturday. Inspired by my story above I awoke, carefully tied on my running shoes, worried a neighborhood kid might see my mismatching high performance apparel and laugh, double checked the battery life on my iPod, and ran down the street like a maniac. A few minutes later I was standing at the edge of a shimmering, and dangerously deep, lake by my house. I closed my eyes for a moment, felt the wind charge my Under Armour shirt (which I haven't washed yet beacuse my wife has me painting the laundry room prior to installing our new washer), and reflected on all that has happened to date since almost drowning at the age of 5. That didn’t last for long because I had a vision of Jason (yes from Halloween) sneaking up on me from the surrounding woods. In a flash I headed back for home.
Halfway home I started to feel dizzy. Then I saw one of my neighbors running my way and decided I better put on a good show. With all my might I puffed out my chest (what little there is because folks won’t subscribe and help me get a Bowflex) and gave him a stoic nod as he ran by. That bit of heroics cost me the last bit of energy I had and I barely made it home. Before going in I paused in the driveway to catch my breath and soon I was feeling good about my effort. That lasted until I walked in and told my wife where I had run to. She laughed under her breath and said, “That's it?” So much for spousal support (I still love her though).
On Sunday, my sister and only running partner (I'm too embarrased to run with anyone else yet), came out to the sticks to school me. Because I’m her older brother I had to play the part and pretend all was cool as we ran 4 minutes, walked 1 minute, ran 4 minutes, walked 1 minute, etc… This went on for 20 of the most grueling minutes I have ever had the pleasure of enduring. As she ran in front of me I begged God to keep me from falling in the gravel and ripping my knees to shreds. Every now and then she would say in a calm and nonchalant manner, "Look around at the lovely scenery." Little did she know I had lost the ability to see clearly somewhere in the middle of our run. When it was all over I was dazed and confused so when she told me to stretch I think I might have done something crazy. I wonder if people driving by thought I was a Cirque Du Soleil performer or something. That would be cool.
All in all things went well and I lived to write about it. Once my legs stop feeling like pair of Twizzlers fused to my body at the hip, I will get out and do it all over again.
So what’s the lesson of the day? You always have a choice in life. You can choose to swim or you can choose to sink, but you can’t do both. If you choose to swim the ocean is your playground. And if you feel like you have to pee-pee, that's ok too. Just make sure nobody's looking.
Check back tomorrow when I discuss my desire to skydive for the first time. I will be sure to avoid inviting my cousin on this adventure though.
Saturday, April 17, 2010
Power of the Human Spirit - Amazing!
Tonight I thought I would change things up a bit. Here is the trailer for the movie "The Spirit of the Marathon". I'm only trying to run 10 miles so I give much respect to those that can actually accomplish a full marathon (26.2 miles). Only 1% of the world's population ever does this. My sister is one of them.
Tonight's lesson? It's up to you. Post your thoughts in "Comments" if you have a moment. Thanks.
Tonight's lesson? It's up to you. Post your thoughts in "Comments" if you have a moment. Thanks.
Friday, April 16, 2010
Learning to Listen
Is it ok to hate someone? What if this person is making your life miserable and they don’t even know it? What if the very sight of them makes you cringe and pray they will go away? Will God remove them from your life?
Hard question to answer. Something that comes to mind is what a trusted mentor once told me. He said, “You hate most in others what you avoid seeing in yourself.” If this is true, it’s a hard pill to swallow.
I think this running and blogging journey is causing me to rethink a lot of things such as why I find faults in others I probably suffer from myself. Do I lack compassion? Do I lack the ability to meet people where they are? Maybe I just need more life experience. Maybe I need a vacation. Maybe I am just being too hard on myself. I am human after all.
In reality, I think I need to step back and actually listen to my complaining self. I have suppressed it for so long it might be overloaded. Why do I avoid listening to it? Because it causes my thoughts and emotions to go places I'd rather not go right now.
I have been told that suppressing thoughts and emotions can lead to stress related issues including lethargy. Lethargy? Isn’t that one of the gremlins I’m trying to stomp with this running thing? Should I be listening to my thoughts and emotions in addition to running? Is that the voice that shows up every time I run?
So why is this blog taking a turn for the dramatic? I’m not sure. Maybe it’s because I think to excel as a runner and human being I need to address all aspects of myself. Have you ever noticed that avid runners seem to have a sense of clarity? I could use some of that.
I think there may be a lot of lessons in today’s blog but the one I will put out there is this. Make sure the person you’re hating on isn’t you. If you find youself hating someone else, let it go. Hate is a mental prison that only imprisons the one feeling it.
Thanks for bearing with the drama above. I actually had a comical plan for tonight’s blog before it went in a different direction. To lighten the mood here’s a bit of it.
I've noticed some ladies following my blog and I want to say thanks. They include my sister, my sisters from another mother, and my wife. If you’re reading this and have not yet subscribed please think about doing so. I'm trying to get Bowflex to set me up with some workout equipment, and though I love my 7 followers, it might not be enough to get sponsorship. Help a brother get some muscles so he can run in an Under Armour compression fit shirt. Thanks.
One more thing. I did get up and run this morning.
Hard question to answer. Something that comes to mind is what a trusted mentor once told me. He said, “You hate most in others what you avoid seeing in yourself.” If this is true, it’s a hard pill to swallow.
I think this running and blogging journey is causing me to rethink a lot of things such as why I find faults in others I probably suffer from myself. Do I lack compassion? Do I lack the ability to meet people where they are? Maybe I just need more life experience. Maybe I need a vacation. Maybe I am just being too hard on myself. I am human after all.
In reality, I think I need to step back and actually listen to my complaining self. I have suppressed it for so long it might be overloaded. Why do I avoid listening to it? Because it causes my thoughts and emotions to go places I'd rather not go right now.
I have been told that suppressing thoughts and emotions can lead to stress related issues including lethargy. Lethargy? Isn’t that one of the gremlins I’m trying to stomp with this running thing? Should I be listening to my thoughts and emotions in addition to running? Is that the voice that shows up every time I run?
So why is this blog taking a turn for the dramatic? I’m not sure. Maybe it’s because I think to excel as a runner and human being I need to address all aspects of myself. Have you ever noticed that avid runners seem to have a sense of clarity? I could use some of that.
I think there may be a lot of lessons in today’s blog but the one I will put out there is this. Make sure the person you’re hating on isn’t you. If you find youself hating someone else, let it go. Hate is a mental prison that only imprisons the one feeling it.
Thanks for bearing with the drama above. I actually had a comical plan for tonight’s blog before it went in a different direction. To lighten the mood here’s a bit of it.
I've noticed some ladies following my blog and I want to say thanks. They include my sister, my sisters from another mother, and my wife. If you’re reading this and have not yet subscribed please think about doing so. I'm trying to get Bowflex to set me up with some workout equipment, and though I love my 7 followers, it might not be enough to get sponsorship. Help a brother get some muscles so he can run in an Under Armour compression fit shirt. Thanks.
One more thing. I did get up and run this morning.
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Take a Break?
"Don't worry private, keep running. You'll pass out before you die!" This is what my friend, a super cool Latina I’ve known since childhood, mentioned to me in an email this morning. The words were used by her drill sergeant to inspire new recruits.
I love the message but still did not run this morning nor plan on running tonight. Am I letting up on my commitment? No, I don’t think so. I’m just following orders to take a break and let my body recover a bit. The spirit is strong but the flesh is weak. I don’t really know much about running training but I do know what muscle spasms feel like!
You see that’s the great thing about growing older. You realize you don’t need to run through walls all the time (as a younger man I thought this was the only way to move forward). It’s ok to let the hero die. No one will miss him. Not even you.
Abraham Lincoln used to say you need to know when to push forward and when to pull back. Today, I’m pulling back.
Will it take extra effort to get-up and run tomorrow morning after today’s break? Probably, but this is how I'm going to test my resolve. Over the next 5.5 months I will get to relive this test over and over again. I only pray God blesses me with the grace to make it to race day, and even then I'm sure I'll be tempted to quit. Maybe St. Ralph will intercede for me.
I think I’m starting to understand how this whole journey thing works (after watching Star Wars, The Matrix, Avatar, etc... of course). It starts off with a moment of inspiration. You run a bit, write about it, take a break, and think it’s all good. Then come a bunch of trials and tribulations followed by a breakdown (you will get to laugh at my pain at this point). Next, and if you persevere, divine intervention will help you to a breakthrough, but you better have some faith on hand. If you can endure, the journey will reach its climax and you will return to normal life forever changed (hopefully for the better). The journey is well worth the effort but seldom completed. Why? Because it’s damn hard. I can only imagine how many journeys I have abandoned when I no longer felt they were worth it. Sad thought.
Today’s lesson? The journey is rough but it generally won’t kill you. Push when you need to and pull back when you have to. Kind of sounds like a running metaphor. I like it.
Here's a video on "Saint Ralph" if you're interested.
I love the message but still did not run this morning nor plan on running tonight. Am I letting up on my commitment? No, I don’t think so. I’m just following orders to take a break and let my body recover a bit. The spirit is strong but the flesh is weak. I don’t really know much about running training but I do know what muscle spasms feel like!
You see that’s the great thing about growing older. You realize you don’t need to run through walls all the time (as a younger man I thought this was the only way to move forward). It’s ok to let the hero die. No one will miss him. Not even you.
Abraham Lincoln used to say you need to know when to push forward and when to pull back. Today, I’m pulling back.
Will it take extra effort to get-up and run tomorrow morning after today’s break? Probably, but this is how I'm going to test my resolve. Over the next 5.5 months I will get to relive this test over and over again. I only pray God blesses me with the grace to make it to race day, and even then I'm sure I'll be tempted to quit. Maybe St. Ralph will intercede for me.
I think I’m starting to understand how this whole journey thing works (after watching Star Wars, The Matrix, Avatar, etc... of course). It starts off with a moment of inspiration. You run a bit, write about it, take a break, and think it’s all good. Then come a bunch of trials and tribulations followed by a breakdown (you will get to laugh at my pain at this point). Next, and if you persevere, divine intervention will help you to a breakthrough, but you better have some faith on hand. If you can endure, the journey will reach its climax and you will return to normal life forever changed (hopefully for the better). The journey is well worth the effort but seldom completed. Why? Because it’s damn hard. I can only imagine how many journeys I have abandoned when I no longer felt they were worth it. Sad thought.
Today’s lesson? The journey is rough but it generally won’t kill you. Push when you need to and pull back when you have to. Kind of sounds like a running metaphor. I like it.
Here's a video on "Saint Ralph" if you're interested.
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Lazy or Crazy?
Tonight I want to begin by sending a shout out to my 3 followers. Much love.
As usual I almost didn’t run or write a blog entry today because I was feeling tired. I was complaining to my niece, who is hanging out in the sticks with us for a few days, about a pounding headache I was trying to beat back. She casually said, “Don’t be lazy, be crazy.”
Her words smacked the lethargy out of me and I was inspired to get moving again. This is how life seems to work at times. You get inspired to do something and in words everything sounds great. Then, in your mind your think, “Damn, why did I start a blog about this whole running thing." Finally, reality kicks in and you realize words don’t take on life without action. This is where the "high" of the promise ends and discipline begins. It's also where you discover a lot about yourself.
Everyday my "reasoning self" wants to quit and conspires with my mind to do so. After all I have 3 kids who demand my time and energy. I have a wife who needs my support. I have family and friends to keep up with. To excel personally and professionally I have to deliver excellence. The garage door needs fixing. The washing machine is infested with mold. My wife’s car tire went flat. My head hurts. The list goes on and on.
So I step back, realize my life demands are no different than anyone else, thank God for having a sense of humor with me, and run in my basement. At the same time I do not dismiss I need to work through all of the blessing noted above (anything that makes you a better, kinder, and/or more patient person is a blessing). It’s just I am discovering that physical energy translates into mental and spiritual energy so I feel compelled to run. Will I feel like this tomorrow or the day after? I don't know. I'll cross that bridge when I get there.
The lesson in all of this? It’s good to be crazy at times. It inspires you to put aside your “reasoning self” and do things you otherwise would not do.
As usual I almost didn’t run or write a blog entry today because I was feeling tired. I was complaining to my niece, who is hanging out in the sticks with us for a few days, about a pounding headache I was trying to beat back. She casually said, “Don’t be lazy, be crazy.”
Her words smacked the lethargy out of me and I was inspired to get moving again. This is how life seems to work at times. You get inspired to do something and in words everything sounds great. Then, in your mind your think, “Damn, why did I start a blog about this whole running thing." Finally, reality kicks in and you realize words don’t take on life without action. This is where the "high" of the promise ends and discipline begins. It's also where you discover a lot about yourself.
Everyday my "reasoning self" wants to quit and conspires with my mind to do so. After all I have 3 kids who demand my time and energy. I have a wife who needs my support. I have family and friends to keep up with. To excel personally and professionally I have to deliver excellence. The garage door needs fixing. The washing machine is infested with mold. My wife’s car tire went flat. My head hurts. The list goes on and on.
So I step back, realize my life demands are no different than anyone else, thank God for having a sense of humor with me, and run in my basement. At the same time I do not dismiss I need to work through all of the blessing noted above (anything that makes you a better, kinder, and/or more patient person is a blessing). It’s just I am discovering that physical energy translates into mental and spiritual energy so I feel compelled to run. Will I feel like this tomorrow or the day after? I don't know. I'll cross that bridge when I get there.
The lesson in all of this? It’s good to be crazy at times. It inspires you to put aside your “reasoning self” and do things you otherwise would not do.
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Push On
I’ll be honest with you. This morning I didn't feel like running so I skipped training and blamed my kids. I woke up late and yes I snoozed a few times again. My kid’s were up too and I decided to avoid a mishap (read blog entry “Laughter for the Soul”) so I just got ready and left for work.
I felt bad all morning until a friend sent me some great advice on running. He said before and during a run I should rub Body Glide all over myself, not wear a shirt (cotton I believe), have a banana or other snack in my pocket (for energy), start off slow and finish fast, and do all this with a group because it’s more fun. He also mentioned that listening to music might distract me from tuning in to my body.
Interesting.
I heeded his advice and picked up a cool Under Armour shirt during my lunch hour. I considered buying a compression fit shirt but decided against it because it did not come with the muscle suit Gallagher (a popular comedian in the '80s) used to wear.
After dinner my guilt got the best of me and I committed to running before bed. It actually felt good to put my first “high performance” shirt, pajama pants, and running shoes on. After laughing at myself in the mirror I snuck off to the basement before my kids caught on.
I skipped my friend’s advice about the music (I am in tune with my body – it needs a tune up) and ran into action to Paul Van Dyk’s “Let Go”. 5 minutes into my run something strange happened - I didn’t feel totally wiped out. Minute 10 came and went and I was able to push on to minute 12. At this point my friend’s advice, “don’t risk hurting yourself”, popped into my head so I stopped.
Then reality spun me into a daze and I had to sit down to recover. While in this daze the inspiration for tonight’s lesson hit me (I love how the creative process works).
It's ok to not feel like doing something, but to move forward in life you need to push beyond your feelings.
On a side note the Under Armour shirt was great. It felt like I had an air conditioner strapped to my body. Maybe I'll try the pants next.
I felt bad all morning until a friend sent me some great advice on running. He said before and during a run I should rub Body Glide all over myself, not wear a shirt (cotton I believe), have a banana or other snack in my pocket (for energy), start off slow and finish fast, and do all this with a group because it’s more fun. He also mentioned that listening to music might distract me from tuning in to my body.
Interesting.
I heeded his advice and picked up a cool Under Armour shirt during my lunch hour. I considered buying a compression fit shirt but decided against it because it did not come with the muscle suit Gallagher (a popular comedian in the '80s) used to wear.
After dinner my guilt got the best of me and I committed to running before bed. It actually felt good to put my first “high performance” shirt, pajama pants, and running shoes on. After laughing at myself in the mirror I snuck off to the basement before my kids caught on.
I skipped my friend’s advice about the music (I am in tune with my body – it needs a tune up) and ran into action to Paul Van Dyk’s “Let Go”. 5 minutes into my run something strange happened - I didn’t feel totally wiped out. Minute 10 came and went and I was able to push on to minute 12. At this point my friend’s advice, “don’t risk hurting yourself”, popped into my head so I stopped.
Then reality spun me into a daze and I had to sit down to recover. While in this daze the inspiration for tonight’s lesson hit me (I love how the creative process works).
It's ok to not feel like doing something, but to move forward in life you need to push beyond your feelings.
On a side note the Under Armour shirt was great. It felt like I had an air conditioner strapped to my body. Maybe I'll try the pants next.
Monday, April 12, 2010
In the Moment
At dinner this evening my wife asked me what my blog has to do with running. She can be efficient at times, which drives me crazy, but she balances me out so it’s all good. I did my best to explain and told her running is a metaphor for moving forward in life and my blog is an attempt to capture an epic adventure in which a man is called out of obscurity to discover and embrace his destiny. In doing so he discovers and begins to live his life's purpose.
She wasn’t buying it so to appease her reasonable senses I will now “efficiently” write about something I don’t know anything about – running (except for what I have Googled).
Today I woke up at 7:35 a.m., snoozed 7 times (yes the habit is back), and ran for 10 minutes. Minute 5 begged me to quit. Minute 8 told me the end was near. Minute 10 danced for joy with me. Then the gremlin minute 110 (time needed to run 10 miles) laughed at me in my mind. Running requires physical and mental endurance. You need to have a running plan, the right shoes, and learn to breathe properly while monitoring your heart rate. Recovery time and stretching is important. Master the art of running and you can excel in all areas of your life. The end.
Happy Babe?
Now back to what’s really on my mind. Why does life change make you feel sick?
I once read that life change can be compared to swinging from one trapeze bar to the next. When you’re holding the first bar, life’s comfortable. When you grab the second bar, life’s comfortable again. What’s not comfortable is the time spent flying between the bars. It can be thrilling and nauseating at the same time - just ask my kids.
Tonight I was being a bit of a gremlin (maybe the 110 mile thing had me concerned) so to shake the bad vibe I decided to do something fun. My 3-year-old was crying because his brother accidently bumped into him and knocked his beloved french fries to the floor. To lift his spirit I grabbed him by the forearm and calf, swung him back and forth like a pendulum, and released him into the air over my bed. He shouted with glee as he flew through the air and then begged to do it again. My daredevil 5-year-old witnessed the whole thing and demanded I throw him into the air twice as high! He too shouted with joy and this game went on until I almost threw out my shoulder. Everyone forgot about the french fries on the floor except for my 1-year old daughter who secretly ate them while we were playing (damn those golden arches and their savvy marketing).
On a side note, I am not that strong (yet) so they really were only about 6 inches above the bed. Dad if you’re reading this I think it might have been more like 1 inch, but need to embellish the story a bit for my fans.
The lesson in all of this? Joy is not found in the comfort of the past or the future. It's found flying through the air and screaming with joy as you do. Some call this the moment. Remember to live it. This is what running, and life, is all about.
She wasn’t buying it so to appease her reasonable senses I will now “efficiently” write about something I don’t know anything about – running (except for what I have Googled).
Today I woke up at 7:35 a.m., snoozed 7 times (yes the habit is back), and ran for 10 minutes. Minute 5 begged me to quit. Minute 8 told me the end was near. Minute 10 danced for joy with me. Then the gremlin minute 110 (time needed to run 10 miles) laughed at me in my mind. Running requires physical and mental endurance. You need to have a running plan, the right shoes, and learn to breathe properly while monitoring your heart rate. Recovery time and stretching is important. Master the art of running and you can excel in all areas of your life. The end.
Happy Babe?
Now back to what’s really on my mind. Why does life change make you feel sick?
I once read that life change can be compared to swinging from one trapeze bar to the next. When you’re holding the first bar, life’s comfortable. When you grab the second bar, life’s comfortable again. What’s not comfortable is the time spent flying between the bars. It can be thrilling and nauseating at the same time - just ask my kids.
Tonight I was being a bit of a gremlin (maybe the 110 mile thing had me concerned) so to shake the bad vibe I decided to do something fun. My 3-year-old was crying because his brother accidently bumped into him and knocked his beloved french fries to the floor. To lift his spirit I grabbed him by the forearm and calf, swung him back and forth like a pendulum, and released him into the air over my bed. He shouted with glee as he flew through the air and then begged to do it again. My daredevil 5-year-old witnessed the whole thing and demanded I throw him into the air twice as high! He too shouted with joy and this game went on until I almost threw out my shoulder. Everyone forgot about the french fries on the floor except for my 1-year old daughter who secretly ate them while we were playing (damn those golden arches and their savvy marketing).
On a side note, I am not that strong (yet) so they really were only about 6 inches above the bed. Dad if you’re reading this I think it might have been more like 1 inch, but need to embellish the story a bit for my fans.
The lesson in all of this? Joy is not found in the comfort of the past or the future. It's found flying through the air and screaming with joy as you do. Some call this the moment. Remember to live it. This is what running, and life, is all about.
Sunday, April 11, 2010
Power of Love
Since starting this blog I am noticing a lot of things I guess I have been missing for a long time.
Last night the thought of all I am trying to do had me feeling like I drank one too many mojitos. At 2:30 a.m. the spinning in my head turned to exhaustion and I finally collapsed into a deep sleep. Usually this would not be an issue on a Friday night because my wife is kind enough to let me sleep in on Saturdays (she really is an angel and a beautiful one at that). But this morning was different. This morning I had to take my son to karate class at 9:00 a.m. and to make it on time I would have to be up and done running no later then 8:20 (yes I am that methodical).
If you’ve been following this blog you realize that getting up without snoozing would be a miracle for me. Well thank God because a miracle happened in my bed this morning and it’s not what you may be thinking.
This morning I got up without snoozing once!
Somehow I managed to finish 10 minutes of running with my eyes closed and was showered, dressed, and in positive spirits in time to get my son to class. I even had the patience to allow my 3-year old son to join us even though he insisted on wearing his glow in the dark pajamas and snow boots (you have to let kids, and people, be themself sometimes).
Yes, this morning was unique for me.
So of course I had to ask myself why. Is it because running has pumped some much needed endorphins into my system? Maybe. Is it because I feel committed to running the 10-Miler to the best of my ability? Maybe. Is it because I am now blogging about this whole journey and would be totally embarrassed if I collapse and get hospitalized prior to crossing the finish line in October? Probably. But none of these are the full answer.
The real reason I was able to get up this morning and break a habit (at least for the moment) that has held a grip on me for so long I can’t even remember when it wasn’t a habit has nothing to do with me. Instead, it has everything to do with love. Love for my son to be specific.
You see, my son loves his Taekwondo class and the joy it brings him is a beautiful thing to witness. It reminds me of a time when I too loved life with all my being. He is only 5 but he is teaching me more about life then I could ever have imagined.
Today his instructor told him that at the next class he would receive another tip (color tape on his white belt that signifies he is advancing to a yellow belt). He was ecstatic and gave me a thumbs up and huge smile! Imagine if I would have missed that because I was too busy snoozing? Makes me wonder how many moments like this I have missed in my life. How many have you missed?
So the the lesson of the day is a simple one. If you snooze you loose (sorry I couldn’t resist saying this).
Last night the thought of all I am trying to do had me feeling like I drank one too many mojitos. At 2:30 a.m. the spinning in my head turned to exhaustion and I finally collapsed into a deep sleep. Usually this would not be an issue on a Friday night because my wife is kind enough to let me sleep in on Saturdays (she really is an angel and a beautiful one at that). But this morning was different. This morning I had to take my son to karate class at 9:00 a.m. and to make it on time I would have to be up and done running no later then 8:20 (yes I am that methodical).
If you’ve been following this blog you realize that getting up without snoozing would be a miracle for me. Well thank God because a miracle happened in my bed this morning and it’s not what you may be thinking.
This morning I got up without snoozing once!
Somehow I managed to finish 10 minutes of running with my eyes closed and was showered, dressed, and in positive spirits in time to get my son to class. I even had the patience to allow my 3-year old son to join us even though he insisted on wearing his glow in the dark pajamas and snow boots (you have to let kids, and people, be themself sometimes).
Yes, this morning was unique for me.
So of course I had to ask myself why. Is it because running has pumped some much needed endorphins into my system? Maybe. Is it because I feel committed to running the 10-Miler to the best of my ability? Maybe. Is it because I am now blogging about this whole journey and would be totally embarrassed if I collapse and get hospitalized prior to crossing the finish line in October? Probably. But none of these are the full answer.
The real reason I was able to get up this morning and break a habit (at least for the moment) that has held a grip on me for so long I can’t even remember when it wasn’t a habit has nothing to do with me. Instead, it has everything to do with love. Love for my son to be specific.
You see, my son loves his Taekwondo class and the joy it brings him is a beautiful thing to witness. It reminds me of a time when I too loved life with all my being. He is only 5 but he is teaching me more about life then I could ever have imagined.
Today his instructor told him that at the next class he would receive another tip (color tape on his white belt that signifies he is advancing to a yellow belt). He was ecstatic and gave me a thumbs up and huge smile! Imagine if I would have missed that because I was too busy snoozing? Makes me wonder how many moments like this I have missed in my life. How many have you missed?
So the the lesson of the day is a simple one. If you snooze you loose (sorry I couldn’t resist saying this).
Friday, April 9, 2010
Keeping it Real
Is it ok to allow people to see the “real you”. Who or what exactly is the “real you”? Isn’t the person you look at in the mirror every morning the “real you”. If it is why do I feel like the “real me” is missing?
These words may, or may, not make sense but that’s me. I have always had a flare for looking at the deeper side of things. The “real me” is someone I have been searching for all my life and through this journey I hope to get closer to finding him – if that’s even possible.
The journey I'm on revolves around getting ready to run the Army 10-Miler in October with my sister. A couple of weeks ago she asked if I was interested, and though secretly I was more afraid than I let on, something inside of me said yes. It took a few days before the yes made it to my lips and soon thereafter my stomach expressed its disagreement.
You see I have never exercised seriously in all my life and I don’t know the first thing about running. Also, I have been overcome with a terrible sense of lethargy for sometime now. When my sister told my mom about my decision the look on her face was one of disbelief and amusement. This from the woman who has always told me I can do anything.
So I am running to my life instead of for or from it. I am running to discover who this “real me” is. I am running because I love my sister and have been inspired by her own journey. She had a stroke you know – last year at the age of 29. Prior to that she ran the NY marathon and this 10-Miler is her comeback. Most importantly I am running for my 3 kids. They need a dad who will be there to laugh and hug them instead of saying he needs a minute to himself because he is overwhelmed with life and out of shape. They need a dad who loves life the way he did when he was a child himself. They need a dad who knows who the “real him” is. I am also running for my wife who I promised a “buff and fit” body to back in 1993. She may get the "fit" but I am not sure about the "buff".
To remember this time in my life I am keeping this journal. It is extremely difficult for me because you are now peering into my thoughts and life. Something I have kept guarded for so long. My sister say's this transparency thing makes me more real. I'm not sure I agree but am open to finding out. Anyway I'm always advocating transparency and vulnerability so let's do instead of think (did you read yesterday’s entry?).
Typically I will not be as melodramatic as above but I figured if this journey is going to be of value to anyone other than me, I better keep it real. Maybe I just took one step closer to the real me. Sweet.
Ok. Now that we have caught some feelings what’s the lesson of the day?
The “real you” is not a reflection seen by human eyes. Instead it is the reflection seen by the hearts of those you allow inside.
Oh, if you’re wondering I did get up this morning after 11 snoozes and completed 10 minutes of “running” to a song I can’t remember. My mind was elsewhere. Maybe it was here.
These words may, or may, not make sense but that’s me. I have always had a flare for looking at the deeper side of things. The “real me” is someone I have been searching for all my life and through this journey I hope to get closer to finding him – if that’s even possible.
The journey I'm on revolves around getting ready to run the Army 10-Miler in October with my sister. A couple of weeks ago she asked if I was interested, and though secretly I was more afraid than I let on, something inside of me said yes. It took a few days before the yes made it to my lips and soon thereafter my stomach expressed its disagreement.
You see I have never exercised seriously in all my life and I don’t know the first thing about running. Also, I have been overcome with a terrible sense of lethargy for sometime now. When my sister told my mom about my decision the look on her face was one of disbelief and amusement. This from the woman who has always told me I can do anything.
So I am running to my life instead of for or from it. I am running to discover who this “real me” is. I am running because I love my sister and have been inspired by her own journey. She had a stroke you know – last year at the age of 29. Prior to that she ran the NY marathon and this 10-Miler is her comeback. Most importantly I am running for my 3 kids. They need a dad who will be there to laugh and hug them instead of saying he needs a minute to himself because he is overwhelmed with life and out of shape. They need a dad who loves life the way he did when he was a child himself. They need a dad who knows who the “real him” is. I am also running for my wife who I promised a “buff and fit” body to back in 1993. She may get the "fit" but I am not sure about the "buff".
To remember this time in my life I am keeping this journal. It is extremely difficult for me because you are now peering into my thoughts and life. Something I have kept guarded for so long. My sister say's this transparency thing makes me more real. I'm not sure I agree but am open to finding out. Anyway I'm always advocating transparency and vulnerability so let's do instead of think (did you read yesterday’s entry?).
Typically I will not be as melodramatic as above but I figured if this journey is going to be of value to anyone other than me, I better keep it real. Maybe I just took one step closer to the real me. Sweet.
Ok. Now that we have caught some feelings what’s the lesson of the day?
The “real you” is not a reflection seen by human eyes. Instead it is the reflection seen by the hearts of those you allow inside.
Oh, if you’re wondering I did get up this morning after 11 snoozes and completed 10 minutes of “running” to a song I can’t remember. My mind was elsewhere. Maybe it was here.
The Wisdom of the Fool
I almost did not write an entry tonight because it is already 11:28 pm and I have a terrible time trying to get up in the morning. My mind is already overstimulated with thoughts of the future so maybe looking back on today will balance things out.
As usual my alarm went off at 6:30 am and my “snooze” addiction took over. I really need to break this habit because I did not get up until 7:25 am. My wife and kids were awake and I had to sneak into the basement before my kids saw me and cried to come down with me. Knowing my kids one of them would have jumped on the treadmill while I was running and sent me flying into the air as I reached to grab him or her. I have seen stuff like this on Youtube, and though it’s funny (I think it’s hilarious actually), arriving at work with two missing teeth and a bruised face was not how I wanted to start the day.
Our basement is unfinished but my kids must think it’s Disney World considering all the fuss they make to go there. Reminds me of when I was a kid and liked to hang-out in unfinished basements not really understanding the attraction.
Today’s 10 minute running journey, and by running I mean jogging at a mild pace, was set to New Order’s “Bizarre Love Triangle” – one of the best songs ever composed. Nowadays we take the fusion of electronica and solid vocals for granted but during the '80s New Order was revolutionary. They actually helped the world move beyond the disco era much to the disappointment of my parents. My favorite song by them is “Blue Monday” which is really a compositional masterpiece if you listen closely.
As I was running the lyric “The wisdom of the fool won't set you free” really got my attention but I wasn’t sure why. Is it because I am seeking something out of this whole running thing? Will running, and more specifically not feeling like a lethargic slug anymore, change my life? What am I running from or to anyways? Am I running to be free? When did I become imprisoned? All deep questions for 7:35 am.
Ah hah! Maybe that’s the answer. I am running to be free – but free from what? Wisdom? The wisdom of the fool? Who is “the fool”?
Yes! That’s it. The fool is me thinking I know something I don't.
Today’s lesson: Your own foolish wisdom will never make you free. Wisdom is not in the knowing but in the doing. To be free you must do.
Here's New Order's "Bizarre Love Triangle" if you want to listen.
As usual my alarm went off at 6:30 am and my “snooze” addiction took over. I really need to break this habit because I did not get up until 7:25 am. My wife and kids were awake and I had to sneak into the basement before my kids saw me and cried to come down with me. Knowing my kids one of them would have jumped on the treadmill while I was running and sent me flying into the air as I reached to grab him or her. I have seen stuff like this on Youtube, and though it’s funny (I think it’s hilarious actually), arriving at work with two missing teeth and a bruised face was not how I wanted to start the day.
Our basement is unfinished but my kids must think it’s Disney World considering all the fuss they make to go there. Reminds me of when I was a kid and liked to hang-out in unfinished basements not really understanding the attraction.
Today’s 10 minute running journey, and by running I mean jogging at a mild pace, was set to New Order’s “Bizarre Love Triangle” – one of the best songs ever composed. Nowadays we take the fusion of electronica and solid vocals for granted but during the '80s New Order was revolutionary. They actually helped the world move beyond the disco era much to the disappointment of my parents. My favorite song by them is “Blue Monday” which is really a compositional masterpiece if you listen closely.
As I was running the lyric “The wisdom of the fool won't set you free” really got my attention but I wasn’t sure why. Is it because I am seeking something out of this whole running thing? Will running, and more specifically not feeling like a lethargic slug anymore, change my life? What am I running from or to anyways? Am I running to be free? When did I become imprisoned? All deep questions for 7:35 am.
Ah hah! Maybe that’s the answer. I am running to be free – but free from what? Wisdom? The wisdom of the fool? Who is “the fool”?
Yes! That’s it. The fool is me thinking I know something I don't.
Today’s lesson: Your own foolish wisdom will never make you free. Wisdom is not in the knowing but in the doing. To be free you must do.
Here's New Order's "Bizarre Love Triangle" if you want to listen.
Thursday, April 8, 2010
The Joy of Letting Go
Last night I learned that too much change on the mind can cause insomnia. Try as I might I was not able to get to sleep until some unknown hour in the middle of the night. The thought of trying to wake-up and run after sleeping only a few hours tormented me further.
At 6:30 am the alarm went of and after 11 delicious snoozes I got up at 7:25 am. For a moment I figured I would just skip running this morning because I had hardly slept. Ironically, I did not wake-up feeling totally wiped-out so I tied on my new running shoes and hit the treadmill.
Today I took a journey back to 1985 and relived the ending of the movie Teen Wolf a total of 3 times by listening to “Win in the End” for 10 minutes. Interestingly enough I did this holding my iPod which made me reflect on how much things have changed while not changing at all. Maybe running can connect you to ancient truths that transcend time and space to find you. Is this “runners high” people talk about?
All was going well until the middle of the morning when I called the owner of a company that had just fixed the A/C in my office. The A/C repair technician told me he would only charge a certain amount and his shady boss tripled the cost. When I called the owner he was anything but helpful, and not wanting to lose my newly acquired positive attitude, I hung the phone up on him (I was polite enough to tell him I did not appreciate his tone).
This incident got me thinking. I too have become a bit cynical and jaded lately (this is what a constant state of stress will do to you). If this running journey is to lift me in a new direction maybe I need to lighten the load by letting go of some negative baggage.
After work I rushed to see my son in karate class and I was treated to a wonderful vision. He had a complete look of joy and focus on his face and I bet it’s because he does not yet know how to be cynical and jaded. Made me think.
So tonight’s lesson is that unless you want to end up cynical and jaded, you need to let go of negative baggage – whatever that may be for you.
Here's a video that connects with this lesson.
At 6:30 am the alarm went of and after 11 delicious snoozes I got up at 7:25 am. For a moment I figured I would just skip running this morning because I had hardly slept. Ironically, I did not wake-up feeling totally wiped-out so I tied on my new running shoes and hit the treadmill.
Today I took a journey back to 1985 and relived the ending of the movie Teen Wolf a total of 3 times by listening to “Win in the End” for 10 minutes. Interestingly enough I did this holding my iPod which made me reflect on how much things have changed while not changing at all. Maybe running can connect you to ancient truths that transcend time and space to find you. Is this “runners high” people talk about?
All was going well until the middle of the morning when I called the owner of a company that had just fixed the A/C in my office. The A/C repair technician told me he would only charge a certain amount and his shady boss tripled the cost. When I called the owner he was anything but helpful, and not wanting to lose my newly acquired positive attitude, I hung the phone up on him (I was polite enough to tell him I did not appreciate his tone).
This incident got me thinking. I too have become a bit cynical and jaded lately (this is what a constant state of stress will do to you). If this running journey is to lift me in a new direction maybe I need to lighten the load by letting go of some negative baggage.
After work I rushed to see my son in karate class and I was treated to a wonderful vision. He had a complete look of joy and focus on his face and I bet it’s because he does not yet know how to be cynical and jaded. Made me think.
So tonight’s lesson is that unless you want to end up cynical and jaded, you need to let go of negative baggage – whatever that may be for you.
Here's a video that connects with this lesson.
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Laughter for the Soul
Can running really change your life? I am hoping so. Not that my life is bad or anything. I just have the feeling that the only constant in life is change. Therefore, I want to embrace it instead of run from it.
Today my alarm went off at 6:30 am. After 5 sweet snoozes (sleeping is my hobby of choice at the moment) I rolled out of bed at 6:55. Actually, I stayed in bed for a moment and asked God to please help me get up. I guess He was listening because a few moments later I was standing on my treadmill in the basement.
The day was uneventful for the most part and the thought of finally getting my legs in motion was nice. At lunch I bought some running shoes and endured a brief moment of embarrassment. It turns out you have to run on a treadmill so that the right shoes may be matched to your foot type and running style. I had the pleasure of doing this in my work clothes with black dress socks on and my pants rolled up just under my knee. I am sure the girl helping me out got a good laugh.
This evening, inspired by my new journey, I decided to take care of a few items on my “honey do” list. As I squatted down to tighten the legs on our kitchen table my own legs tightened up and my quads started to burn. Wow! Am I out of shape. 2 Aleves later I’m praying that I can keep this up for 6 more months.
My wife, an ex-professional ballerina, can only look on in wonder. If my kid’s were old enough to understand what’s going on I bet they would laugh too.
Well sometimes in life it is good to laugh at yourself. This is the lesson of the day.
Today my alarm went off at 6:30 am. After 5 sweet snoozes (sleeping is my hobby of choice at the moment) I rolled out of bed at 6:55. Actually, I stayed in bed for a moment and asked God to please help me get up. I guess He was listening because a few moments later I was standing on my treadmill in the basement.
The day was uneventful for the most part and the thought of finally getting my legs in motion was nice. At lunch I bought some running shoes and endured a brief moment of embarrassment. It turns out you have to run on a treadmill so that the right shoes may be matched to your foot type and running style. I had the pleasure of doing this in my work clothes with black dress socks on and my pants rolled up just under my knee. I am sure the girl helping me out got a good laugh.
This evening, inspired by my new journey, I decided to take care of a few items on my “honey do” list. As I squatted down to tighten the legs on our kitchen table my own legs tightened up and my quads started to burn. Wow! Am I out of shape. 2 Aleves later I’m praying that I can keep this up for 6 more months.
My wife, an ex-professional ballerina, can only look on in wonder. If my kid’s were old enough to understand what’s going on I bet they would laugh too.
Well sometimes in life it is good to laugh at yourself. This is the lesson of the day.
Monday, April 5, 2010
A New Perspective - Almost
Last night I finished watching What the Bleep. Inspired by the film’s message I went to bed feeling today I would wake up a new person.
Well things didn’t exactly go as planned. My intent was to wake up at 6:30 a.m. and begin my running training. After hitting the snooze button 10 times I finally rolled out of bed at 7:30 a.m. when my daughter came into the room. The thought of going to the basement and running was too much. I'll start tomorrow - hopefully.
I went to work with a changed perspective. I believed I had the power to control my thoughts and in-turn my feelings and behavior. That lasted for a few hours.
By the end of the day I had managed to let go of a few troublesome thoughts and an anxiety spike I had earlier in the day was still taking its toll on me. My back muscles are spasing once again which sounds like a great excuse to defer my running training. That and the fact I do not have proper running shoes. I have been warned that I will develop all kinds of leg problems if I don’t get the right shoes. That could actually work to my advantage now that I think about it.
What will tomorrow bring? Will I awaken with a renewed spirit – one ready to run like the wind? Probably not but nothing worth doing is ever easy. This is what I tell myself to keep going. It’s cliché but true – I think. That’s the lesson of the day.
Well things didn’t exactly go as planned. My intent was to wake up at 6:30 a.m. and begin my running training. After hitting the snooze button 10 times I finally rolled out of bed at 7:30 a.m. when my daughter came into the room. The thought of going to the basement and running was too much. I'll start tomorrow - hopefully.
I went to work with a changed perspective. I believed I had the power to control my thoughts and in-turn my feelings and behavior. That lasted for a few hours.
By the end of the day I had managed to let go of a few troublesome thoughts and an anxiety spike I had earlier in the day was still taking its toll on me. My back muscles are spasing once again which sounds like a great excuse to defer my running training. That and the fact I do not have proper running shoes. I have been warned that I will develop all kinds of leg problems if I don’t get the right shoes. That could actually work to my advantage now that I think about it.
What will tomorrow bring? Will I awaken with a renewed spirit – one ready to run like the wind? Probably not but nothing worth doing is ever easy. This is what I tell myself to keep going. It’s cliché but true – I think. That’s the lesson of the day.
Friday, April 2, 2010
Joke's on Me
Today must be April Fools' day because I just signed up to run the Army 10-Miler in October. That gives me 6 months to train a body that has trouble running up a flight of stairs.
Inspired by my sister’s story – ran the NY Marathon, had a stroke (not because of the marathon), found her purpose in life – I too am going to run in hopes of discovering some unknown truth about human existence. Idealistic I know, but God has a sense of humor. He will see that the spirit of a fool overtook me on April 1st and bless me with the grace to not collapse and make a complete baffoon of myself in public on race day.
So now that the initial euphoria of doing something I have never done before has subsided how will I actually pull this off? Good question. One I am asking myself as I take a cortisol management supplement to calm my nerves.
Tonight I told my wife of my decision and her support was stupendous. She reminded me that since we starting dating I have promised a buff and fit body not yet delivered.
Yes this is my dilemma. How does a guy who has never exercised seriously in 35 years prepare to run 10 miles? I am not sure but I guess I’m going to find out.
Inspired by my sister’s story – ran the NY Marathon, had a stroke (not because of the marathon), found her purpose in life – I too am going to run in hopes of discovering some unknown truth about human existence. Idealistic I know, but God has a sense of humor. He will see that the spirit of a fool overtook me on April 1st and bless me with the grace to not collapse and make a complete baffoon of myself in public on race day.
So now that the initial euphoria of doing something I have never done before has subsided how will I actually pull this off? Good question. One I am asking myself as I take a cortisol management supplement to calm my nerves.
Tonight I told my wife of my decision and her support was stupendous. She reminded me that since we starting dating I have promised a buff and fit body not yet delivered.
Yes this is my dilemma. How does a guy who has never exercised seriously in 35 years prepare to run 10 miles? I am not sure but I guess I’m going to find out.
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