Dealing with Energy Thieves

Do you know what an energy thief is? It’s a person who feels better by making others feel miserable. Many energy thieves aren’t aware of what they are doing. It’s just a natural behavior that has developed over the years.

In his book “The Celestine Prophecy”, James Redfield does a solid job of describing the phenomena behind energy thieves. He calls it the “four control dramas”. Control dramas refer to behaviors aimed at zapping the energy out of others so you can stop feeling bad. He argues your control dramas are largely determined by early care taker’s control dramas. Your control dramas developed as a defense mechanism against those attempting to steal your energy. By energy, I mean emotional well-being.

The first type of control drama is the “Interrogator”. They steal your energy by questioning you, drilling you, and making you feel like your under a microscope.

The second type of control drama is “Aloof”. The aloof person forces you to send energy their way by being mysterious and distant. In an effort to understand them, you focus all your attention on them and they withdraw to make you focus harder.

The third type of control drama is the “Intimidator”. They steal your energy by threatening, scarring, or abusing you. Intimidators are known to inflict physical harm on others thus making them the most dangerous type of control drama.

The fourth type of control drama is the “Poor Me”. They make you feel bad for them by complaining, twisting things around, and appearing like a victim.

At different times we all play out these control dramas. Each control dramas triggers an opposite control drama. For example, an “Interrogator” or “Intimidator” will trigger either an “Aloof” or “Poor Me’ response – or vice versa. The idea is to realize a control drama is at play and defeat it by calling it out or leaving the situation.

Adults need to be especially mindful to not impose control dramas on children who can’t do much about it. These children will grow up to be energy thieves themselves and continue the doom loop of control dramas.

With all this said is there a solution? Yes. Be an energy creator, not an energy taker. Do this by genuinely taking an interest in the pain of others. Send smiles not bad thoughts. Be realistic about your emotions and the emotions of others. Help them see when control dramas are at play. Show love instead of anger. All these things create energy and lift the spirit of others. This is tonight’s lesson.

Here's agreat video on the subject of control dramas.