Defining Moments

My mind is starting to try and play tricks on me. Why? I think it wants me to fail on Sunday. Why? Because when I complete the Army 10-Miler I will have proven it a liar.

It’s telling me my knee hurts. That I’m not used to running in the cold. That I haven’t fully recovered from a chest cold. On and on it goes. But I’m not listening. Live or die I will run on Sunday.

This leads me to another conversation going on in my head. One between my old self and my new self. My new self feels it is on the threshold of a different existence. One where anything is possible. It does not believe in self imposed boundaries. It only believes in possibilities and perseverance to make them happen.

Life is a bit surreal right now. But I like it.

Tonight’s lesson is to seek and live those defining moments in your life. You know. The moments that let you know who you really are and what you were created for.

Here’s a song to inspire that moment.

Looking in the Mirror

What do you see when you look in the mirror? The face of a person broken by life? How about the face of a person who is the embodiment of life?

What’s going on behind those eyes you see has a lot to do with the answer.

When I look in the mirror I see a man shaped by time. A man who has known joy and pain. Laughter and tears. I see a man who has a life ahead of him. A man that will finish the race better than he started it. I see a man who knows how to love because he is love. He is the manifestation of love. A gift from his Creator and Father. He just forgot this for a while.

Tonight’s lesson is to look into the mirror of your own life and ask yourself what you see. Anything less than a miracle is a lie.

Here is a movie clip that connects with this lesson.

True Nature

Can life change in a blink? Yes it can. Just like that God pours his Spirit into yours. Like He did when you were conceived.

Life. What’s the meaning of it all? How did I get to a place where I forgot the truth of things? How did life lose its magic? Easy. I became human. Forgot that that’s just part of the story. Yes, I’m human, but also spirit. Why? Because God created me and He is spirit. A part of me is what I see in the mirror. The other part is what I can’t see with my eyes but feel when I close my eyes and listen with my heart.

This running journey has reminded me of my true nature. It’s the force that propels me forward and graces me with the ability to run 10 miles and beyond. Daily life and its worries had beaten my vision and dreams down. I always knew they were there, but the weight of responsibility drowned me. Instead of lying down and dying a slow death I opted to get up and run. Run to my life that is.

Life can change in a blink. This is tonight's lesson.

Here’s a song that resonates with this lesson.

Towards the End

In life you must sometimes run the journey alone. Nobody or anything can do for you what you must do for yourself.

Last week my sister and running partner notified me she would not be able to run the Army 10-Miler with me this Sunday. At first I was discouraged. This was something we had hoped to do together. A big part of my embarking on this journey was to complete it with her. Unfortunately, her knee is injured and running 10 miles is not possible right now.

With this news I had to take a look inside my heart. What is life trying to tell me? Why have things played out the way they have? I don’t know to be honest. What I do know is that I must run and complete this race with all my heart. When I started this journey I was unsure if I could make it. Now I believe I can. It’s only 10 miles and roughly 100 minutes, but to me it feels like lifetime.

I can see my family at the finish line. It’s for them that I’m really doing this. I want them to know that the answer to life lies on the other side of the unknown. Anyone who dares to can venture there. You only need to believe in yourself and commit to taking the steps. Break through the fear and pain that holds you back and you will be amazed at what you discover. Life. This is tonight’s lesson.

Here’s a song that inspired this lesson.

Going Home... Again

Through my children I am reborn. Not in a way that imposes my dreams but in a way that releases theirs. Life is beautiful I tell them. Everyday magic still exists. You have the power to shape your life. God dwells within you. Are the embodiment of His greatness.

Life is not supposed to be a place of torment and needless suffering. It’s a journey to find yourself. In doing so you come to understand your Creator in way that transcends human understanding. Life will have its pain, but it serves a purpose. To realize the light you must have awareness of the dark. In this reality at least and it’s the only one I know right now.

Life means something. You have to discover and live that something. To do this you must venture into the unknown. When the unknown becomes known you will understand the meaning of it all. You might even realize you are home and it's where you belong. That is tonight’s lesson.

Here’s a song that connects with this lesson.

Learning the Hard Way

“Dreams without action are fantasies.” That’s the thought I’ve been having lately.

Everyday I wake up with a headful of possibilities and anxieties. The possibilities inspire and energize me. The anxieties discourage me. Both serve a purpose, but at the same time pull me into the past or future. They work to keep me from the present moment known as reality.

Reality is I need to wake-up and get moving if I am to accomplish anything worthwhile. Thinking about what I can do has value, but if I don’t write it down and take action it never happens. I’m a possibilities thinker and have a natural inclination towards idea generation. The problem is ideas can be so exciting compared to the actual work required to materialize those ideas. It takes enormous discipline to stick with something once the initial “high” has worn off.

So what does this have to do with running? A lot.

When I originally thought about running the Army 10-miler I was full of energy and hope. The thought of training and conditioning my body and mind was exciting. Then I went running for the first time and the euphoria wore off quickly. I realized that I was on a painful journey. One that would require commitment, discipline, and sacrifice. I internalized this and started this blog to keep me motivated and focused.

Now the race is 12 days away and something inside of me has ignited. I want to run and finish the race with heart. I also want to apply all that I have felt and learned to the rest of my life.

“Dreams without action are fantasies.” This is tonight’s lesson. One I am learning the hard way. But I'm also loving every moment of it. I only have one shot at life afterall.

Here’s a video that resonates with this lesson.

Tips for Living

1. Keep your unfounded opinions to yourself
2. Listen twice as much as you speak
3. Allow others to be who they are without judgment
4. Believe in yourself and your abilities
5. Always do your best and encourage others to do the same
6. Sincerely share your life’s story
7. Love without condition

Tonight's lesson? Be yourself by letting go of who you think you are and becoming who you truly are. How do you do this? See the 7 steps above. :-)

Here's a song to inspire that realization.

Pour Your Heart Out

In the depths of existence
Lies a place few venture
It’s here one discovers the light
Go there my friends
And extract its nectar
Carry it home in your heart
Stare into the blank canvas
Be it pixels or papyrus
And poor out all you have found
The universe will applaud you
And men will ask how
Such brilliance could exist

Tonight’s lesson? Let the creativity in your heart pour out. You will be amazed at what’s in there.

Here’s are some inspirational thoughts to inspire you.

No Escape

I’m looking for an escape. Instead I must run towards that I seek to escape from. The hidden exit door lies at its center, not its outskirts.

So what do I fear most? Failing. Failing to provide for my family. Failing to deliver on what I say I can deliver. Failing to live my dreams. Which brings me to another question.

What is my dream? To help others realize and live their own dreams I think. But can this dream sustain my existence. Can it pay my mortgage and put food on the table. Can it make me happy? I don’t think life will answer these questions without me first venturing out in faith. This is scary. Keeps me up at night thinking about it.

What has this running journey taught me so far? Step by step, mile by mile. Turn the pain into energy. Let go of limited thinking. Keep at it and grow stronger. It's alright to be afraid. Just push through it.

The Army 10-Miler is 19 days away. I feel good about my training and progress. Now I just need to apply all I’ve felt and learned to my greatest journey – life. This is tonight’s lesson.

Here’s a song that connects with this lesson.

Not too Crazy

“You haven’t written anything crazy lately,” said my sister today.

I’ve become too serious lately. That’s what a family, mortgage, challenging economy, and headful of possibilities and fears will do to you. On occasion my quick wit and humor pop out before I can suppress them. Oddly enough, I have made a conscious effort to be more “logical” lately. Whatever that means.

All my life I enjoyed trying on different personas. At one point I even imagined I was a vampire (after a dream in which a vampire bit me on the neck and I actually woke up in pain). Right now I’m trying to figure out my persona, like I did in the past, but I’m coming up short. The reason? There is no persona. There is only me. And this makes me happy.

I’m not sure if this post qualifies as “crazy” but it will have to do for now. “Crazy” has left the building for the moment. He will be back I’m sure. But for the moment it’s nice to be me.

Tonight’s lesson is that it’s alright to be “you” at times. And if you’re crazy for real… go ahead with your bad self. Who knows? Maybe I am a vampire who's forgotten the truth about himself. Now this is crazy. Would make for a great movie though.

Here’s a song that resonates with this lesson minus the vampire thing.

Victim or Victor?

In my life things have happened that I wish had not. Some were of my own doing. Others were not. The pain these things caused still lives with me today and unconsciously impacts my attitude and behaviors. The worse being fear and anger.

So what would my life be like without this pain? Extraordinary I think. I’d be free to be “me” and I’ve learned “me” is a happy person who knows how to love unconditionally.

I have not written much lately because I have been processing a lot of thoughts, emotions, and life circumstances. Also, the word cancer is now part of my family’s vocabulary. My sense is everything will be alright because life always has a reason (even though we may not agree with it at times).

The other day I caught the end of the movie Good Will Hunting. I think it’s a brilliant portrayal of the suffering a human can endure and still come out a victor in life. I resonate with the movie and the lesson it teaches at the end is powerful.

“It’s not your fault,” says Will’s therapist. “It’s not your fault.”

Acknowledging past hurts that were not of your own doing is the first step to letting go. It’s painful I know, but necessary if you are to release yourself from the prison of your mind. This is tonight’s lesson.

Here’s the noted scene from the movie.

Way to Freedom

Forgiveness is the beginning of freedom. We all carry around past hurts, experiences, traumas, etc… that shape who we are today. Sometimes the suffering was caused by ourselves and sometimes by others. It doesn’t matter how it got there because the important thing is to let it go. The only way to do this is by forgiving.

When you choose to forgive yourself and others it feels like a heavy weight has been lifted from your life. I know this is easier said than done and there are things we would rather not forgive. The thing with forgiveness is that it doesn’t mean you agree with what happened or the impact it had on you. Forgiveness simply means you will no longer allow that hurt to torment your life and hold you back. When you forgive you are really doing it for yourself. You are letting go of a burden that does not need to be carried around anymore so that you can live a fulfilled life.

This subject has come up a lot with me recently. I’ve been pushing myself to run harder and faster. In turn, I’ve observed that when my thoughts surface past or current hurts, resentment, bitterness, etc… my energy level drops off. However, when my thoughts center on forgiveness I feel much stronger and able to run faster.

Tonight’s lesson is to examine those things in your life you feel hold you back or de-energize you. Is unforgiveness at the core? If it is, help yourself out and start making a conciouss effort to forgive. It doesn’t mean you are in agreement. It simply means you have chosen freedom above all else.

Here’s a song and video that resonates with this lesson.

One Day

There was a time when I hated life,
Tomorrow seemed like a place I’d rather avoid.
Darkness and loneliness became my truth,
Alone in my mind I sat and faded away.
Nothing mattered, I just didn’t care,
“I have no conscious,” I believed.
My life was nothing more than a lifeless shell,
Pulled this way and that by illusions.
A living hell I was in,
And I didn’t care enough to find my way out.
For years I secretly died,
Hoping one day it would all just end.
Courage was not mine to manifest death,
So I took the easy way out.
I lived a life with no purpose,
No connection, no inspiration.
Then something inside me spoke,
And I told it to be silent.
But day after day it cried out,
Until one day its Creator cried back.
"I’m so sorry" He spoke,
But I have not forgotten you.
You were my child before all of this,
And forever you are mine.
So now it is I that cry out,
Please, please help me.
I returned from the land of the dead once,
And now I’m alive.
That has to mean something,
And if it doesn’t then I’m lost.
But I will never stop believing in You,
Simply because I love You.
You created me for a reason,
One I humbly ask You give me now.
If not for me,
Then for those I love.
Make a way for them to,
Let go, laugh, live, and love.
Then I will have served my purpose,
Then I will know my life means something.

Tonight's lesson? Life is a gift. Be sure to open the box.

Here's a song that connects with this lesson.

We are Free

Years ago in the darkest days of my life I would close my eyes and imagine myself trapped in a black box. I remember looking up and all I could see was more darkness. The reason I knew I was in a box was by feeling the four walls and floor that encased me. I would reach for the top edge to see if I could pull myself out, but I could not reach it. So I quit trying and accepted my fate.

Then one day a light appeared in the box with me and I was able to see a door I had never seen before. I was eager to step through it but was afraid of what was on the other side. So I sat in the box with the light. On occasion I would crack the door open and a light as bright as the sun would flood in. I couldn’t see beyond the bright light so my fear remained and I stayed trapped. Day by day my courage built and I would open the door a little more. Each time the light would blind and daze me and I would close the door.

One day, and without warning, the door flung open and the box dissolved into the light that penetrated it. The prison that had held me for so long was no more. It was all a construction of my mind. As I looked around I saw a vast land covered in trees and grass. It had rivers flowing through it and a sky so beautiful I can’t describe it in words. I heard voices and realized there were others like me here. We’re they trapped too I wondered?

This place became my home and it has sustained my existence. Others have joined me and I am grateful for their presence. I have learned that I have the power to shape this world and my destiny. I have also learned that I am part of everything in this world and beyond.

Tonight’s lesson? The only prison that can hold you is the one you call your mind. Realize this and you will discover a world in which you are free to dream. God did not create you to be a prisoner. He created you to be free.

Here’s a song that helped bring me through the journey.

Life Lessons

Keep it simple. Eliminate desire for external things. Enjoy those things that come your way. Pass on the blessing.

Build and nurture relationships. They are all you will remember and value in the end.

Stay focused. Identify why you want to do something, how you will do it, and what you want to do. Then go do it until it’s finished.

Take out the trash. Empty your mind and heart of anything that does not make you a better person.

Ask yourself why? Why are you doing what you are doing? Why do you believe what you believe? Why are your alive?

Embrace change. It’s the only constant in life.

Give it all. Don’t save anything for the swim back.

Here’s a video that resonates with the last lesson.

Lose to Win

“Go hang your glory on the wall… there comes a time when castles fall… and all that’s left is shifting in the sand.”

To get to the other side of this journey I will have to die – to myself that is. That’s the castle that must fall so the glory may reside with God.

My last two runs have been different. I’m able to lose myself in the moment quicker and keep my pace up longer. It’s funny… just a few months ago running 10 minutes felt like it would kill me. Running was something I feared. Now it’s something I love.

Tonight’s lesson is to face things in life that you fear. With God’s help they may actually strengthen you. In addition, you may come to love them.

Lose to win. Trust your heart. That’s the message of the song below.

Change

“The only constant in life is change.” Yes, I agree. I also believe that change can feel like a punch in the face. If it doesn’t knock you out, and if you don’t run away, it can inspire you to come back harder.

But what if you can learn to see the change coming and duck out of the way before it hits you in the face? I believe this is possible. What if you can learn to absorb the energy of the change and flow with it? I believe this is possible too.

Tonight a wise friend told me, “The past was the best thing that could have happened to me. The present is the best thing happening to me. The future is the best thing that’s going to happen to me.” It took a moment to realize the depth of his words but it’s finally sinking in. Everything in life, including change, is there for a reason. It makes us who we are. This is tonight’s lesson.

Here’s a song that resonates with this lesson.

Grinding Forward

Sometimes all you can do in life is put one foot in front of the other. Don’t look up, don’t look sideways, don’t look forward, and don't look back. Just look down and focus on putting one foot in front of the other.

This is my life right now – running and personally. I don’t feel like running even though the Army 10-Miler is a month away. But I know I need to continue my training and feelings can’t dictate my life. Personally, I wish life had a timeout button so I could catch my breath. But it doesn’t so prayer will have to do.

I’ve never lived a time like this before. The world is full of hope and possibility and at the same time feels like it could get pulled out from under me at any moment. I talk a lot about trust and I guess that’s what I must do. Trust that life is good. Trust in my ability to push forward. Trust this all just part of a greater purpose.

Tonight’s lesson is a simple one. You can never be stuck if you choose to put one foot in front of the other and move forward. And don’t worry, if your feet our planted on the ground, it’s impossible for the ground to fall out from under you.

Here’s a video that resonates with this lesson.

Amazed in the Moment

What does it mean to be a parent? I have three kids and I’m still not exactly sure.

I wake up in the morning and am amazed at the fact I’m a parent. To be honest it’s all still a little surreal to me. I wonder if this is how other parent’s feel. At the same time it’s one of the coolest things I have ever experienced. I think one of the favorite moments is when I come home and my kids yell out, “Daddy!” and run over to hug me. Moments like these make me feel like I’m dreaming and it’s a dream I never want to wake up from.

My two boys returned to and started school this past week. As I drove my oldest son to school this week I couldn’t help but think how amazing it is I am actually a dad. I wonder if my parents felt like this. My son likes to chat and he tells me incredible things. Today he was trying to explain to me that there is power in exercising. I said, “Why is that?” and he said, “Because God puts power in exercise so that it can find its way to us.” His words remind me that at his young age he has great clarity because his head has not yet been filled with illusions.

Maybe I do know what it means to be a parent. I think it has something to do with living in the moment and helping my kids continue to do the same as they grow up. When I live in the moment I feel most connected to my kids and life in general. The moment is the here and now and I’m noticing this where my kids spend most of their time. Maybe we should all spend some more time in the moment so we can enjoy life the way kids do. This is tonight’s lesson.

I think this little guy has the whole living in the moment thing figured out.

Good to Great to Extraordinary

Do you know the difference between being good, great, and extraordinary? It’s work, hard work, and grace. This is the thought I had tonight as I ran.

So what does it mean to be extraordinary? Contrary to what the world might tell you, being extraordinary has nothing to with external things or even with personal accomplishments. Being extraordinary is all about using your natural and acquired talents to live life to the fullest. It’s also about making a positive difference in the lives of others. To be extraordinary you don’t have to be a celebrity or a Mother Teresa. You simply have to be you to the fullest. That’s where the grace part comes in.

My wife is a Realtor and the mother of three children (4 if you count me). When we were first married we envisioned how wonderful it would be to have a family. In actuality, our kids are the greatest miracle we have ever been blessed with. In practice, providing for and keeping up with 3 small children can be mentally, physically, spiritually, and emotionally demanding. I look at my wife, and she may not know it, but I think she is extraordinary. She has transcended greatness because she chooses to recieve the grace required to fulfill her role as a mom to the fullest.

Interestingly enough, once you cross over to being extraordinary something else shows up to propel you further – love. It’s there all along, but living an extraordinary life somehow makes it a little more tangible. Almost like you can point to it and say, “There it is.” My wife does what she does and is able to do more because she is filled with love. This is tonight’s lesson. Remember to seek grace in your life if you want to live it to the fullest.

Today inspiration came to me in a unique form – a professional makeup artist. Here’s her story.

Why I Run

Why do I run? Because I want to know what I’m made of. I want to know exactly how resilient I am. I want to know that I can do. I run to feel my life in motion. I run to forget the illusions that hold me back. I run to be a better me today. I run for peace. I run for wisdom. I want to know with all my heart life is good. I want to know I was created for a reason. I want to believe that life means something. I run to clear my mind, my heart, and my emotions. I run to remember the best parts of my life. I run to be the best part of my life. I run to discover hidden truths. I run to live those same truths. I run for my family. I run for humanity. I run for my God. I run for me. I was made to be in motion. I’m running to my life.

Seeking Grace

As long as you think life or anyone owes you anything, you will suffer. This is what I’m learning right now.

Growing up I can’t say I ever remember a time when my life needs weren’t met. I never really worried about where my next meal would come from, how I would clothe myself, or if I would have a roof over my head. As an adult and parent all that has changed. Now I consistently worry how I will provide for my family and when I feel something is an obstacle to that I become angry.

So why is that? Maybe it’s my parental instincts. Like a caveman I have a natural instinct to want to care for and protect my tribe. Something creates a threat and naturally I want to destroy or remove it. The only problem is that now I’m supposed to be civilized. I feel the intensity of a caveman and the reason of a modern man at the same time. This inner struggle is grueling.

As I sit here writing this I’m realizing I’m on a distorted mind trip. Everything I have written in this blog points to the truth that positive things manifest in life when you develop the right thinking, attitude, and behaviors. I also write a lot about being in the moment. When you stress about the past or worry about the future you step out of the moment and begin to suffer.

Writing about the truth of life is easy. Living it consistently is not. Therefore, I will be patient with myself right now and let the healing begin. I also recommend you do the same. This is tonight’s lesson.

Here’s a song to inspire us.

Connecting to Truth

"Goodnight Daddy," just said my daughter as she kissed me on the cheek. Now that's where I need to focus my thoughts. Lately, my thoughts have focused on the wrong things and they've taken their toll on my overall well being.

I spent the holiday weekend at my parents and went running at a lake by their house. Typically, my runs there are uplifting and peaceful. Not the last few days. My last two runs were grueling and it took an enormous amount of resolve to not quit and just walk. It felt like something dark inside of me wanted to escape and tear me apart as I ran.

So what's up? I don't know. Maybe something inside of me is changing and causing turbulence in the process. Maybe I need to step back and meditate a bit. Maybe I need to see a priest. All of the above make sense but they are no excuse for quitting.

Tonight's lesson is to focus your thoughts on the beautiful things in life. In my case, all the blessings God has given me starting with my children. When you do you reconnect with the truth. Darkness tries to disconnect you, but it can’t if you turn on the light of truth – you are and always will be connected to everything else.

Here’s a video that connects with this lesson.

Persist I Must

“Persist through crap… criticism, rejection, assholes, and pressure.” This is what Richard St. John, an expert on the concept of success, says to do.

Right now I’m up to my ears in crap. Negative thinking, toxic relationships, worry, lethargy, etc… All this crap has seeped back into my life. So much so that I want to call it a day and go sell t-shirts on the beach or something. I have this crazy fantasy about throwing my cell phone into the lake by my house, cashing a Friday paycheck, getting in my car, and driving west until I run out of money or gas – whichever comes first. I won’t stop though. I will hitchhike or walk to the West Coast and when I get there I will dip my feet in the Pacific Ocean. In that moment I will be transformed into a new being. One with a deep appreciation for life. One who feels grateful and blessed for the life God has given him. One who adores the people in his life. One who believes that by some cosmic twist of fate, life is going to work out great. Not because he deserves it, but instead because he believes it.

So why not believe this now without all the drama of running away? What would I be running from anyway? My life? I thought this whole journey was about running to it not from it.

Did you hear that? It’s the sound of a toilet flushing. No more crap in my life for the moment. Sorry to be so lucid.

Tonight’s lesson is to cut the crap and start believing the truth of life – its extraordinary and worth living to the fullest. A butterfly told me that so I have to believe it. Butterflies do not lie.

Here’s a great TED Talk by Richard St. John.

Questioning My Thoughts

Life has a pattern. Every time you’re on the verge of a breakthrough, a breakdown will show up and try to derail you. This is what happened to me tonight.

Last night I was in an intensely creative flow and my hope was to continue it tonight. I’m working on some things that require me to stay focused and imaginative if I ever want to get them done. I was ready to jump in tonight and then my stinking thinking kicked in. However, I did something different this time around (after feeling like a dope for a while). I verbally stated my negative thinking and in doing so was able to get to the core of the illusion quickly. In turn, my emotional state lifted and creative juices started flowing again. Then I got back to work.

I’m realizing that identifying and questioning my thinking really works to improve my attitude. Yes, I still experience emotional lows for a moment, but I don’t stay stuck. Once I realize the thought that is causing the emotional upheaval, it loses its control over me.

Tonight’s lesson is to pay attention to those patterns and thoughts in your life that either build you up or tear you down. Question the latter and life becomes much more peaceful and creative.

Here’s another ‘90s song to inspire your journey.

Keep on Dreaming

I would like to embrace uncertainty. So how do I do this without throwing up?

On April 1st I took on the challenge to train for and run the Army 10-Miler at the end of October. With that decision I also took on a huge load of uncertainty. How will I find the time to do this? Can I do this? What if I fail? What if I never make it? Am I a fool for doing this? Will I be laughed at (I was)? What do I have to prove anyway? All these questions plagued my thinking. And then I did it. I stepped through the wall of fear and took that first step. In fact I did almost throw up, but I also discovered something about myself – I have more potential than I had come to think I did.

Last week I ran on the beach to condition my physical being. It took its toll on me, but through this journey I am learning that the pain, setbacks, and injuries are all part of game. To strengthen muscle you must first tear it. There is no other way. Logic would say that to increase the fullness of your life you must first go through some pain too. This might include acknowledging and letting go of things that hold you back like inaccurate beliefs, negativity, bad habits, toxic relationships, sin, etc… And even when you push through and start moving towards your goal something terrifying will show up to stop you – doubt. Doubt that achieving your goal will make a difference. This doubt is so powerful it can cause you to quit.

The way to beat the doubt is to doubt it. What if the doubt is wrong? What if achieving your goal is conditioning you to do greater works like achieve your life’s dream. What if your life’s dream has the power to sustain you? To feed you? To provide for your overall well being? I believe it does. Hang in there, dreams do come true. This is tonight’s lesson.

Here’s a song from the '90s to keep you dreaming (and dancing).  It's a song my wife and I used to groove to when we were dating.  Brings back good memories.

Trust the Journey

Let go. The more you try to control things the more you suffer. This is what my vacation and kids are teaching me.

When I was in Europe a while back, I made a conscious effort to let the trip play out as it would. There were many times I let things go against my desire to try and control things. Interestingly enough things worked out better than I could have hoped fir.

For example, on the last day there we were running late to the airport and no taxis were in sight. At first my anxiety level shot up and then something inside of me said; “Trust the journey. It will never fail you.” Sure enough when we arrived at the airport our flight was delayed. I could have spent the morning annoyed and upset, but instead I was at peace and enjoyed some time studying the architecture of the airport in Paris.

This week has been similar, but a little more difficult. The reason is my kids are with me and my natural tendency as a parent is to try and control the environment. I think it’s my desire to protect my kids that drives this. I worry they may get hurt, not have a good time, not have enough to eat, grow up to be delinquents, etc… When I try to control things I end up being the cause of the miserable time I was trying to avoid in the first place. So I’m letting go and trusting the journey will never fail them too.

This does not mean I am not aware and vigilant. It just means I realize I am not God. I am their dad and I can only do the best I can to direct, guide, and protect them. Most importantly I need to ease up and love them without condition (as I write this my 2-year-old daughter is smacking me in the head to go to the beach).

Let go. That is today’s lesson. Control is an illusion. Something you actually never have. Replace it with trust. Trust in a God who loves you and will never fail you. Trust in the journey called your life. God gave it you and He will see you through it.

Here’s a song to help you get started.

Beautiful Life

Life is beautiful. That’s the thought I had the other day as I ran along the MD seashore.

This week I’m at the beach with my family and it’s been amazing. My kids are a wonder to watch as they build imaginative landscapes in the sand and lose themselves in laughter as the cool (my wife would say cold) ocean water washes over their feet. Over the last few days we’ve settled into a relaxing daily routine that makes our lives back at home feel like a distant memory. I get up early and run barefoot in the surf for an hour, prepare and serve breakfast, pack lunch, head to the beach, dig a huge hole in the sand (this is mandatory my kids tell me), pop in and out of the water to cool off, break-up a few Tom and Jerry episodes, make sculptures in the sand (mermaids, dragons, and dolphins), watch people come by and see my creations, head back to the condo for dinner and nightly activities (miniature golf is the new favorite), negotiate with my kids to go to sleep (I’m relaxed and patient remember), and finally float off into dreamland.

The one thing that’s challenging is the temptation to eat all the tasty stuff they sell at the beach. You know, ice-cream, juicy steak and cheese subs with extra pickles, pizza, boardwalk fries, fresh squeezed lemonade, cotton candy, caramel apples with nuts (hmm hmm), deep fried shrimp with lots of cocktail sauce, etc… Most of these things I’ve resisted because I need to be in optimal condition for October’s race. Oddly enough, I don’t miss them. Temptations are just thoughts you haven’t challenged yet. In the past I thought these foods brought me happiness. Now I know that’s just a thought. I am happiness. I don’t need anything external to make me happy (except those boardwalk fries and fresh squeezed lemonade).

In actuality, being with my wife and kids and watching them have so much fun has brought the happiness out of me. I think it’s because I’m living in the moment. Kids have a way of helping you do this if you just go with it.

Vacations are great. They help us break out of the monotony of our daily patterns and realize much joy can be found in doing things out of the norm. However, you can experience this joy without having to go on vacation. Just try to do something different and new everyday. You’ll see what I mean. This is tonight’s lesson.

Here's a song to capture the spirit of this lesson.

Life's Miracle

“One day when my time is up God is going to ask me… did you ever put it on the line? Did you ever not know and still jump? Did you ever just close your eyes and… let go?”

This was a line I heard tonight while watching the movie Saint Ralph. It struck a chord with me.

My answer to God would be yes. I was born into this life not knowing how it would play out. On my first day of human existence I opened my eyes and woke up. Now I close my eyes to let go and remember the truth of my existence before I was born. Now I’m also putting it all on the line. My mind, my body, my spirit, my emotions. They are not mine to hold on to anymore. Not if I want to what do what I was born to do.

These words may not make sense but making sense of something as beautiful as life is not easy – and maybe not necessary.

When you allow your life to be a miracle you give people a glimpse into the face of God. This is a lesson I learned tonight from Saint Ralph and one I share with you.

Here’s the final song from the movie.

Keep Running

I’m happy with myself tonight. Why? Because something inside of me has changed.

Tonight I just wanted to eat a quart of Häagen-Dazs mango ice cream (which I did), skip blogging, read a book, and go to sleep. I was feeling an overwhelming sense of lethargy and I almost gave in to it. Then something inside of me spoke up and said, “What are you doing? Get up and go downstairs to run. Your life is waiting.”

That was a nice way of saying, “Get up off your lazy ass and keep training.” Harsh words I know, but sometimes you just have to get real with yourself.

Throughout this “running to my life” journey there has been a constant theme – running. I can’t run 10 miles, or any long distance, without running there. Does this make sense? Let me explain. To run 10 miles, or any long distance, I need to run there. Get it. Run there. Not walk there, not crawl there, not hobble there (although this might be the way it goes down sometimes). Run there. That’s what I have to do. Run there.

Sitting around, eating ice cream, and reading books is all good fun, but it’s not running. There is a time and place to chill, but it’s not when you are trying to get somewhere in life. That’s tonight’s lesson.

I think my cousin Kenny has this lesson figured out. Check out his message below. It’s deep.

Back to My Senses

I am not my feelings.

I am not my thoughts.

I am not my circumstances.

When I allow any of these forces to dictate my attitude and behavior, I’m potentially setting myself up for disaster. Why? Because these forces are only indicators to inform me of what’s going on inside and outside of me. Yes, I should acknowledge and maybe listen to them, but then I need to step back and see what the most reasonable response is.

How many times have you let your emotions get the best of you and said things you later regretted? How many times have you allowed your thoughts to consume you and acted in ways you later wish you hadn’t? How many times have you allowed circumstance to dictate your emotions and thoughts, even though you have no direct control of the circumstance? I do this quite often and I believe it’s time to stop.

Allowing anything other than truth to dictate my life sounds crazy to me. Time to come back to my senses and regain my sanity. "Take out the trash" so to speak. This is tonight’s lesson.

Here's a video that resonates with this lesson.



“Take out the trash… The trash is anything that is keeping you from the only thing that matters. This moment. Here and now. And when you truly are in the here and now, you’ll be amazed at what you can do and how well you can do it.”

Life is Good

“Life is good” read the bumper sticker in front of me as I drove home today - twice. “Is it really?” I wondered to myself because that’s not how I am feeling right now.

Just the other day a co-worker told me she believes life is simply a place of misery and suffering. It is riddled with one problem after another and generally these problems are out of your control. I told her, “Ok, so why don’t we all just die right now then. What’s the point of living a miserable existence?” She looked at me and sort of smiled.

So what’s the trick to living a “good” life instead of a miserable one? Your attitude.

Life does not feel “good” to me right now but that does not mean it is not “good”. I am simply reflecting my feelings because it’s how I feel. Feelings are not concrete truths. They come and go like the seasons and if you let them drive your attitude you will be like a ship tossed at sea – up and down, up and down, and all over the place.

Tonight’s lesson is avoid becoming a victim of your emotions by accepting them for what they are – indicators that you are a spiritual being having a human experience. Life can feel great at times and not so great at others. That’s alright. The important thing is to keep a balanced and realistic attitude. Don’t fool yourself with optimism either (though a positive attitude won’t hurt). Be realistic with your situation, step back, and see what concrete action you can take to yield positive outcomes – for you and for others.

Here is something I think we forget as adults. Kids seem to believe this and maybe that’s why they are intrinsically happy.

No Easy Way Out

Last Thursday I got “back in the saddle” and this morning the wild stallion called my life bucked me off and sent me flying through the air. Metaphorically speaking, I came down crashing and knocked out a few teeth. I think I may have broken some bones as well. But you know what. I don’t care. I will get on the saddle again and ride my life until it breaks or it kills me, whichever comes first.

I don’t care if I life is not fair. I don’t care if I don’t have enough money. I don’t care if I ever get an external breakthrough. Why? Because none of these things can actually bring me true happiness. I keep telling myself happiness is a choice, and now life is helping me to internalize this truth.

Lately, I wake up with what feels like a heavy vest strapped to my body. I know what this is now. It’s all the negative thinking in my head that does not want to surrender peacefully. It won’t leave without a fight and it's a coward because it attacks me at my weakest moments. I won’t let it win though. It can crush me with the weight of its negativity, but I’m still breathing. And as long as I’m still breathing I can always choose my destiny.

These words are easy to write, but the reality of changing your life for the better can be grueling. Sometimes the only thing you can do is run. Run to your life that is and not from it.

Tonight’s lesson is to hang in there and believe in a day when you will truly know what it means to live life to the fullest. Inch by inch and life’s a cinch. Find the fire inside of you and allow it consume all doubt, worry, anxiety, and fear. It will hurt and burn, but that’s what tears are for. Let them flow if you must.

When life punches you in the face, sometimes all you can do is turn to Rocky for some inspiration to punch back.. “There is no easy way out… there’s no shortcut home…”